In these day and age, well-known people are often concentrated by media. Many people claim that the media should focus on normal others more. I fully disagree with them as public figure can be great exemplar for others.
Almost every people tend to be interested in sensational tidings. Consequently, reporting on lives and relationships especially of celebrities brings more advantage for journalism. In terms of famous people, when they are noticed, they will make an effort to improve themselves further so that gain more attentions. If media concentrate on celebrities, a lots people will be influenced positively. Ordinary people can learn meaningful things and a great way to live even.
Even so, if celebrities sometimes behave bad, it would impact for common people especially for teenagers negatively.
To sum up, the media should cover the famous people live in order to set a good example for others. Also, they object the negative sides of them.
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Subject: Please review my IELTS essay
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Topic: Copy the essay instructions accurately here.
My essay:
(Your text here...)
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First, you wrote 150 words. The minimum word count is 100 more than that. You will lost a lot of points.
In these day and age, well-known people are often concentrated (Wrong word) by media. Many people claim that the media should focus on normal (Wrong word) others more. I fully disagree with them as public figure (Wrong form) can be great exemplar (Wrong form) for others.
Almost every (Wrong word) people tend to be interested in sensational tidings. (Wrong word) Consequently, reporting on lives and relationships especially of celebrities brings more advantage (Wrong form) for journalists journalism. (Wrong word) In terms of famous people, when they are noticed, they will make an effort to improve themselves further so that gain (ungrammatical. There is no subject for the verb "gain") more attentions. (Wrong form) If media concentrate on celebrities, a lots (Wrong usage) people will be influenced positively. Ordinary people can learn meaningful things and a great way to live even.
Even so, if celebrities sometimes behave bad, (Wrong form) it would impact for common people especially for teenagers negatively.
To sum up, the media should cover the famous people live in order to set a good example for others. Also, they need to object to the bad things they do. the negative sides of them.