The horrific red color
In a terror filled soul;
Tracing the fatal lines
Of departed kith and kin.
Remembering the terrifying faces
Choked up in boxes
Crying for salvation,
And immortal peace.
In a terror filled soul;
Tracing the fatal lines
Of departed kith and kin.
Remembering the terrifying faces
Choked up in boxes
Crying for salvation,
And immortal peace.
Wow good poetry by minu
That's an interesting one, Anita. It would read well without any punctuation. Or you might end it with a –
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Thanks Minu.
Thanks Mr.P. U mean something like this?-
The horrific red color
In a terror filled soul
Tracing the fatal lines
Of departed kith and kin
Remembering the terrifying faces
Choked up in boxes
Crying for salvation
And immortal peace
or, like this...
The horrific red color
In a terror filled soul-
Tracing the fatal lines
Of departed kith and kin-
Remembering the terrifying faces
Choked up in boxes
Crying for salvation-
And immortal peace-
Which do u think is better?
Thanks Mr.P. U mean something like this?-
The horrific red color
In a terror filled soul
Tracing the fatal lines
Of departed kith and kin
Remembering the terrifying faces
Choked up in boxes
Crying for salvation
And immortal peace
or, like this...
The horrific red color
In a terror filled soul-
Tracing the fatal lines
Of departed kith and kin-
Remembering the terrifying faces
Choked up in boxes
Crying for salvation-
And immortal peace-
Which do u think is better?
I think the first version. Punctuation draws your attention to the lack of a main verb; while an absence of punctuation increases the ambiguity.
But that's only my view!
I like 'the horrific red color'. It's a very strange phrase. Also the faces in their boxes.
MrP
But that's only my view!
I like 'the horrific red color'. It's a very strange phrase. Also the faces in their boxes.
MrP
Thanks for your help Mr. P. Your view is appreciated and implimented.
I am glad that you liked it.
The horrific red color
In a terror filled soul
Tracing the fatal lines
Of departed kith and kin
Remembering the terrifying faces
Choked up in boxes
Crying for salvation
And immortal peace

The horrific red color
In a terror filled soul
Tracing the fatal lines
Of departed kith and kin
Remembering the terrifying faces
Choked up in boxes
Crying for salvation
And immortal peace
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