It is widely believed that the use of social networking sites is superseding face – to – face communication in the world. From my perspective, despite some obvious disadvantages of this trend, I would argue that these are outweighed by the advantages. In this essay, I will provide some evidences to support my ideas, before coming to a reasoned conclusion.
On the one hand, there are several reasons why social channels have some negative impacts on human’s life. One of the main reasons is that the constant use of social media may cause people to lose their social skills, especially communication skill. To explain for this, if some people are addicted to social media, they may not be able to communicate and interact effective with people around them. As a consequence, they show their fearfulness and embarrassments in case of communicating with other people.
On the other hand, I concur that the benefits are more significant than such disadvantages. Firstly, due to the proliferation and development of modern technology and online social networking sites, people can connect with each other irrespective of geographical boundaries. In other words, people can keep in touch with friends and relatives everywhere in the world regardless of geographical locations. For example, if a student studies abroad, they can connect with their families by using social platforms such as Facebook or Zalo in order tovideocall, send messages and so forth. Another upside of social media is that companies can increase their revenues by the demand of users. In more detail, great corporations can create many advertisements, and people who click on them are directed to their own companies websites. As a result, if individuals concern of products they enjoy, they may consider and purchase those products.
In conclusion, this essay acknowledges that the advantages of social platforms are more significant than the disadvantages. In spite of some drawbacks, they can provide worldwide users with a better method in lieu of direct communication.
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Topic: The use of social media is replacing face-to-face interaction among many people in society. Do you think the advantages outweigh the advantages? (Original post)
It is widely believed that the use of social networking sites is superseding face – to – face communication in the world. From my perspective, despite some obvious disadvantages of this trend, I would argue that these are outweighed by the advantages. (Delete the next sentence. Do not tell the examiner that you are writing an essay about this topic. Don't they know that? Write your opinion and arguments, that is what they are interested in.)
. In this essay, I will provide some evidences to support my ideas, before coming to a reasoned conclusion.
On the one hand, there are several reasons why social media channels have some negative impacts on their members' lives. human’s life. (wrong phrase) One of the main reasons (redundant) is that the constant use of social media may cause people to lose their social skills, especially communication skill. (wrong form) To explain for this, if some people are addicted to social media, they may not be able to communicate and interact effective (wrong form) with people around them. As a consequence, they show their fearfulness and embarrassments (wrong form - embarrassment is non-count.) in case of when communicating with other people. (You mentioned "several reasons" and "several negative impacts" in the topic sentence, but only described one in the paragraph. The topic sentence is not a good one.)
On the other hand, I concur that (Your opinion comes in the opening paragraph, not in the body paragraphs) the benefits are more significant than such disadvantages. Firstly, First, due to the spread of internet access points proliferation and development of modern technology and (Modern technology is not used correctly. It can be self-driving cars, solar panels, satellite navigation systems and high-capacity rechargeable batteries.) online social networking sites, people can connect with each other irrespective of geographical boundaries. In other words, people can keep in touch with friends and relatives everywhere in the world regardless of geographical locations. (That is repetitive and redundant. ) For example, if a student studies abroad, they can connect with their families by using social platforms such as Facebook or Zalo in order tovideocall, send messages and so forth. (Do not use "..." or "etc." or "and so on" in formal writing. Do not ask the reader to think of other items.) Another upside of social media is that Second, (You began with "first", so continue with "second." You reduce wordiness and improve coherence and cohesion.) companies can increase their revenues by increasing the demand for their products. the demand of users. (That does not make sense.) In more detail, great corporations (Very wordy and unnatural.) Specifically, they can create many advertisements which are posted on social media sites, and people who click on them are directed to their own the sponsoring company's website. As a result, if individuals' concern of (wrong words) attention is directed to products they are interested in enjoy, (wrong usage) they may consider and purchase those products.
In conclusion, this essay acknowledges that (Do not mention your essay. The prompt was "Do you think..." There was no prompt "Does your essay think...") the advantages of social platforms are more significant than the disadvantages. In spite of some drawbacks, they can provide their members worldwide users with a better method of communicating than email or written letters. in lieu of direct communication. (That does not make sense.)