The monitor of English in my school told me that this composition has no mistakes and no comments can be made on it. Shall I trust him? Can you make any corrections and comments that you think are necessary or is the monitor right?

A few years ago, my school´s basketball team travelled to Chile. I was only eleven years old and it was my first trip without any relatives. Before we left Brazil, our coach decided we were going to stay in other family´s houses. Some of us stayed alone, but I stayed with a friend of mine.
We arrived there at night. It was cold and raining. We grabbed our stuff and went to "Melissa" by bus. When we finally got there, our temporary family was already waiting for us. My friend and I had already been told which family we were going to stay with when our coach finally called us. "These are Maria and José", he told us. I wasn´t happy, because those weren´t the people I was supposed to stay with! I had no way out, so I left with them. When we saw the car, we almost couldn´t believe our eyes: It was a hearse! we were really scared, but this fear became panic when we arrived. Their house was behind their funerary. It was really freaky. José told us that they prepared dead people to be buried there. Fortunately our coach moved us to a different house in the following day. I will never forget that night!!
I can't see any mistakes.
I have a question though, what is a funerary?
I'm in Australia, we would call it a funeral parlour.
A place where you sell coffins and prepare the dead to be buried.
Thanks very much for your comments mate.
Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?
Do yoy have any suggestions to improve it, though? I would appreciate them. Thanks.