Dear native english speakers or teachers,

I have some problems with this sentence:

"I have the feeling that you have been concentrating too much upon \ on the changes in the stand design, so that you forgot the very important things."

I am not sure about:

1. The use of "upon" or "on"
2. Could I use "to focus on" at the place of "to concentrate"?
3. Second sentence starting with "so that....."

Alternative could be :

"You would have better concentrating on the very important thing rather than wasting time with the changes" ?

But this one it maybe sounds like a bad remark?!


Hello Pamela
In business communications, it is always best to remain non-combative (neutral) but factual in your statements.
I used to tell my students to try and avoid adjectives of all sorts in business communications.
What do you think of the following?

Perhaps you focused more on the changes than on other important items.

Use of "You would have better..." is, as you pointed out, borderline rude.
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Dear John,

thanks, it helps!

Still one doubt: "to focus ON" or "to focus UPON"? I´ve found both in the dictionary.

Both are correct.
"Upon" is more formal and, in my opinion, not to be used here. Again, business communications are to be kept short and simple and language that is too formal can be off-putting to the reader, especially if they are not native English speakers.