It is true that we change in many fundamental ways as we develop from young kids to mature adults, result in key differences in social behaviour and psychological changes. This essay will elaborate on the main differences and give explanation on whether these changes are positive or not.

Firstly, most young children tend to express themselves much more openly and naturally than when the grow older, showing their great extremes of happiness and misery. However, when they reach their adulthood, they learn to hide their real feelings and doing things more carefully, while children seem behave by their natural instinct. That means children have a very volatile relationships, for example, a group of kids could fall out and row with each other, but then they are back as close companions afterwards, nevertheless, grown-up people often make friends based on some purposes such as cooperation in business or commercial.

In my opinion, it is a good things that adults can retain childlike qualities in their social behaviour. Some significant changes will happen as a natural sense, but how their manners improve are depend on their traits and mostly by their parents' education and living environment. But I believe when people grow up, they will learn how to protect themselves, behave more carefully and cleverly, learn how to tackle issues and also learn how to keep their words in mind if it may hurts or disrespects other people, which are necessarily developments in their lives.

In conclusion, difference between a people in his childhood and adulthood is mainly the change in how they act in social life and I believe that this change is certainly positive due to these benefits.


This is my essay. I'm going to take the IELTS test this July, please help me to check!!!

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Subject: Please review my IELTS essay

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Topic: As children become adults, their social behavior change in some way. What are the main differences? To what extent are the change that take place good?

My essay:

(Your text here...)

It is true that We change in many fundamental ways as we develop from young kids to mature adults, result (wrong form) in key differences in social behaviour and psychological changes. This essay will elaborate on the main differences and give explanation on whether these changes are positive or not.

Improper thesis statement. Never mention your essay, your writing or what you are going to tell the reader in an academic essay. Just state the main point of your essay.

Firstly, First, most young children tend to express themselves much more openly and naturally than when the grow older, (improper comparison) showing their great extremes of happiness and misery. However, when they reach their adulthood, they learn to hide their real feelings and doing things more carefully, (?? I don't understand this.) while children seem behave by their natural instinct. That means children have a very volatile relationships, (Never use "a" with a plural noun. Also, you have a comma splice error here. THe sentence is ungrammatical.) for example, a group of kids could fall out and row with each other, but then they are back as close companions afterwards, (another comma splice error in the same sentence.) nevertheless, grown-up people often make friends based on some purposes such as cooperation in business or commercial. (Commercial is an adjective. You can't use it like a noun.)

In my opinion, it is a good things (Never use "a" with a plural noun.) that adults can retain childlike qualities in their social behaviour. Some significant changes will happen as a natural sense, but how their manners improve are depend (incorrect verb form) on their traits and mostly by their parents' education and living environment. But I believe when people grow up, they will learn how to protect themselves, behave more carefully and cleverly, learn how to tackle issues and also learn how to keep their words in mind if it may hurts or disrespects (incorrect verb form) other people, which are necessarily developments in their lives.

In conclusion, the difference between a people (Never use "a" with a plural noun.) in his childhood and adulthood is mainly the change in how they act in social life and I believe that this change is certainly beneficial. positive due to these benefits.

Tran Thao 612please help me to check it!!!

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Some people say that there are some marked differences in children’s social behavior as theyget older, while other think we don't change in any fundamental ways as we develop from young children to adults. In this essay I would like to explain how we change our social behavior in not subconsciously way, and show some kinds of differences between children and adults in terms of social development.


Firstly, we need to understand what social behaviour is. It characterizes the interactions that occur among individuals. These can be aggressive, mutualistic, cooperative and parenral. For instance, social behavior is the way how you shake your hands, keep the conversation or offer reassurance or consolation. When we were children, we didn’t care about the way we talk or behave. However, becoming adults we started to think about our actions and to be responsible for our words.


Secondly, I would like to give an example from my own experience. I have sister, Valiusia, who is 4 years younger than me. I have a chance to observe her social behavior over the years. Sometimes I notice that it is significantly different than mine. She may easier and quicker make a friend. Valiusia doesn’t care about how she look like and what kind of make up she needs.


Personally, I think that our social behavior depends on everything what surround us, which consist of our family, friends, hobbies, wishes and needs. Changes in social behavior when children become adults are indispendable. They provide people with easier access to a competitive world.

Some people say that there are some marked differences in children’s social behavior as theyget older, while other think we don't change in any fundamental ways as we develop from young children to adults. In this essay I would like to explain how we change our social behavior in not subconsciously way, and show some kinds of differences between children and adults in terms of social development.


Firstly, we need to understand what social behaviour is. It characterizes the interactions that occur among individuals. These can be aggressive, mutualistic, cooperative and parenral. For instance, social behavior is the way how you shake your hands, keep the conversation or offer reassurance or consolation. When we were children, we didn’t care about the way we talk or behave. However, becoming adults we started to think about our actions and to be responsible for our words.


Secondly, I would like to give an example from my own experience. I have sister, Valiusia, who is 4 years younger than me. I have a chance to observe her social behavior over the years. Sometimes I notice that it is significantly different than mine. She may easier and quicker make a friend. Valiusia doesn’t care about how she look like and what kind of make up she needs.


Personally, I think that our social behavior depends on everything what surround us, which consist of our family, friends, hobbies, wishes and needs. Changes in social behavior when children become adults are indispendable. They provide people with easier access to a competitive world.

Some people say that there are some marked differences in children’s social behavior as theyget older, while other think we don't change in any fundamental ways as we develop from young children to adults. In this essay I would like to explain how we change our social behavior in not subconsciously way, and show some kinds of differences between children and adults in terms of social development.

Write a thesis statement. Do not mention your essay.. Do not tell the reader "I am going to tell you XYZ."

Here is a thesis statement for your essay:

As children mature from toddlers to teenagers and then young adults, behavioral changes naturally occur as their bodies and brains grow and they interact with people around them. These changes enable them to face a competitive world.


Firstly, First, we need to understand what social behaviour is. It characterizes the interactions that occur among individuals. These can be aggressive, symbiotic, mutualistic, cooperative and parenral. For instance, social behavior is the way how you shake your hands, keep the conversation or offer reassurance or consolation. When we were children, we didn’t care about the way we talk (wrong form) or behave. (wrong form) However upon , becoming adults we started to think about our actions and to be responsible for our words.

(The next paragraph is not an argument point. Use examples to illustrate your argument points.)

Secondly, Second, I would like to give an example from my own experience. I have sister, Valiusia, who is 4 years younger than me. I have had a chance to observe her social behavior over the years. Sometimes I notice that it is significantly different than mine. She may easier and quicker (wrong forms) makes a friends more easily. Valiusia doesn’t care about what how she look like and what kind of make up she wears. needs.


Personally, I think that our social behavior depends on everything what surround us, which consist (wrong form) of our family, friends, hobbies, wishes and needs. Changes in social behavior when children become adults are natural and inevitable. indispendable. (wrong word) They provide people with easier access to a competitive world.

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