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First of all, it is clear that over exposure to social media can lead to both physical and mental health problems. The excessive use of the Internet of many children can be responsible for the sedentary lifestyle. Nowadays, many young individuals spend hours lock themselves in the room and play video games all night without the parental control. Therefore, they tend to suffer from illness and poor-health problems. In addition, young social network users are also likely to experience cyber bullying which is the main cause of isolation and depression at the early age. For example, research has shown that more than 5 percent of high school students are the victim of cyber harassment.

Another reason for my belief is that the society is affected by the misleading news on the Internet. Due to the developing and widespread of social media, people can share news and posts that are not censored with ease. For instance, for the government in Vietnam, many reactionary often create a website that is similar to popular TV programs and upload fake news about politics and the communist party. Moreover, in modern days, when the covid-19 pandemic is spreading all over the world, fake news about medical treatments or the origin of the virus is widely spread, which can bring about the fear and panic for global citizens.

To sum up, it is true that the use of social-sites can cause many health problems physically and mentally for people and spread misleading information. For that reason, I believe that we should be more careful and take responsible for every time we use the social media.

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Your essay lacks an introduction.


Do not just start by writing your argument points with examples.

You wrote two body paragraphs and a conclusion.

bee build 110Another reason for my belief

You never stated a personal opinion.

You did not answer the essay prompt: To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The answer appears in the opening paragraph as your thesis statement.



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Please post essays, paragraphs, dialogues and other writing in the essay forum so a moderator does not have to move your post.
https://www.englishforums.com/English/EssayReportCompositionWriting/Forum9.htm


Please do not put the essay instructions in the "Subject" line.
Put it with your answer in the message body.

Subject: Please review my IELTS essay

Message body:
Topic:

Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Copy the essay instructions accurately and completely here.

My essay:

(Your text here...)
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