Hello everyone! I am new here and I hope I can get some help from you guys on my essay. Here is just a part of my essay about ways in which fat people are made to feel inadequate by the culture at large. This part just covers about the unrealistic images portrayed in the media

It does not take a trained eye to notice that people on television, billboards and in fashion magazines are practically always thin. We never see overweight people advertising for basketball shoes or the newest clothing trends. The media in America today contributes enormously to the stereotypic view of thinness as positive and fatness as negative. Mainly it has been the fashion industry that are promoting unrealistic images and increasing the pressure on society to have perfect bodies and perfect lives. The fashion industry presents a stunningly misleading image of how people should look; namely, supposed to be thin. [Paraphrase] Page 504 paragraph 26 Seid talks about the history of fashion growing from clothes to body [paraphrase] Our culture tends to determine a person’s value based on the attractiveness of their body. This causes people ignore intelligence, abilities and feelings because they are valued only solely for their bodies. It is very difficult for overweight people to try and accomplish these unrealistic goals, causing them to be harassed and looked down upon.

What im really trying to say is...
[] Media from all different kinds, everywhere, promotes this unrealistic image of how people should look like, thin very thin
[] Unrealistic Why? Because its impossible (very difficult ) for fat people to accomplish
[]Mainly is the fashion industry who are promoting this ideal look
[]Paraphrase from Seid about changing of value from clothes to body and description of “ideal” look.
[]Now if everyone follows this "idea" look, (which society is doing) then all fat people will be looked down on, harassed.

I have not written out my paraphrase yet but i have included an idea what it will be about. I am hoping for some feed back about my paragraph above. This is supposed to be a explanatory synthesis essay. Does my paragraph sound opinionated in anyway? What other ideas or points can i include in this to support that the media is promoting unrealistic images of our body?

Thank you for your help
I am trying to paraphase the following and place that in my essay

"By the 1980s, even fashion magazines showed naked or leotarded bides more than they showed clothing. The undressed body–the bare bones of being, celebrated as liberating and "natural"-had become the focus of fashion. No longer did a woman have the luxury of manipulation only what was outside her body, the "not me"; now she had to manipulate her self, the once private stretches of the body.
This new, "natural" look could not really liberating, because fashion is antithetical (almost by definition) to nature, so stringent standards began being set for the now-exposed form. Suddenly, the average American woman became aware of flaws she never knew existed; pronouncements were made about how every private crevice of her anatomy was to look. Women consequently ran smack into a dilemma between the naked and the nude."

My paraphase is the following

According to Seid, the fashion industry has begun to advertise more of the naked body rather than clothes. People have accepted these trends to be liberating and "natural". We now cannot change our appearance only by our clothing but, we have to change our body itself. As a result, new standards have been declared for the ideal look causing many people to notice ever imperfection on their bodies that they have never known existed.

According to my textbook it says that the paraphase should be as long as the original work, however mine is not. Am im missing some important ideas?

Would the above be good to put in my essay?
My newest version
Students: We have free audio pronunciation exercises.
Some of your ideas are interesting. Do you mind showing us your whole essay? I'm kind of curious how all these fit together.