UPDATED EMPLOYEE HANDBOOK DRESS CODE



SICK DAYS:


We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If

you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

PERSONAL DAYS:

Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called

Saturday & Sunday.

RESTROOM USE:

Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. There is now a

strict 3 minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes,

an alarm will sound, the toilet paper will retract, the stall door will

open and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your

picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic

Offenders" category.

LUNCH BREAK:

Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more, so that

they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to

get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Fat people get 5

minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim

Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a

positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments,

concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations,

insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternations

and input should be directed elsewhere.

Have a nice week!



THE MANAGEMENT
very direct:P i wonder how many employees that company would have:D....two, three
English_Learner

SICK DAYS:


We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If

you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

And what if a doctor comes to me? If he's able to come to me, he's able to come to my work.

Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?
Ruslana
English_Learner


SICK DAYS:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If

you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.


And what if a doctor comes to me? ......
I have to note that we don't have such a service here in NY: if you're sick, you have to go to the medical office to see your doctor.
If you're unable to go to the doctor, you can call to emergency and they will take you to the hospital.
Not too much choice, yeah? Emotion: wink