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Hello everyone, this is my first attempt to do the IELTS Writing Task 1 and I would be really appreciated if you guys can give me feedbacks and the possible band score.
Thank you so much!

CAM 9 TEST 4 WRITING TASK 1

TASK

The line graph compares the consumption of six different kinds of energy from 1980 to 2030.

Overall, more fossil fuels are used in comparison with renewable energy sources. The 50-year period witnesses the increases in all types off energy except for hydropower.

In 1980, the consumed amount of petrol and oil was 35 quadrillion units, while the figure for coal and natural gas were 16 and 20, respectively. In the same year, three types of alternative energy were not used frequently, with only 3 quadrillion units for each type.

Over the next 25 years, there were fluctuations in the consumption of three kinds of fossil fuel. Since 2005, petrol and oil along with coal are predicted to be used mainly and reach their peaks respectively at 50 and 30 quadrillion units in 2030. By contrast, the figure for natural gas is expected to remain at 25 from 2015 to 2030. Over the 50-year period, it is predicted that the consumed amount of nuclear power will slightly rise to 6 quadrillion units, and the consumption of solar/wind energy shares the same trend, which is estimated to be 5 in 2030. (189 words)

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The line graph compares the consumption of six different kinds of fuels used for energy in the US energy from 1980 to 2030. Three are fossil fuels (oil, coal and natural gas) and the others are are nuclear, solar and hydropower. The amounts from 2015 to 2030 are predictions. The units of measure are quadrillion units (Qu).

(Note that I define an abbreviation for the units in the first paragraph to avoid so much repetition in the body paragraphs. )

Overall, more fossil fuels are used in comparison with renewable energy sources. Over the 50-year period witnesses (wrong word. Periods do not witness things. Only people do.) there are increases in every fuel source all types off energy except for hydropower.

In 1980, the consumed amount of petrol and oil used was 35 quadrillion units, while the figure for coal and natural gas they were 16 and 20 Qu, respectively. In the same year, the three types of alternative energy were not used very much frequently, (wrong word) with only 3 quadrillion units for each type.

Over the next 25 years, there were fluctuations variations in the consumption of three kinds of fossil fuels. Since (wrong word.) From 2015, petrol and oil along with coal are predicted to continue to be the dominant sources used mainly and reach their highest levels peaks (There are no peaks on the graph.) respectively at 50 and 30 quadrillion units in 2030. By contrast, the figure for natural gas is expected to remain at 25 Qu from 2015 to 2030. Over the 50-year period, (The predictions are only for 15-20 years, not 50 years.) it is predicted that the consumed amount of nuclear power will slightly rise to 6 quadrillion units, and the consumption of solar/wind energy shares the same trend, ending at which is estimated to be 5 Qu in 2030.



Please read my advice for Task 1 essays. It describes the misused words: peak, fluctuation, figure, witness among others.

IELTS TASK 1: Hints, Tips And Advice

Vocabulary Words For Task 1: Reference Post