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In fairness, I did deliver those same two greyhounds for, once again, a correct forecast, and feel to have pulled it off with a little aplomb anway. Didn't I, at least insofar as the teller behind the counter, and her wryly amused over 1 with 6. That she was, when, together with commentary, the prophecy fulfilled in full colour. Bang on the money, for dogs be praised 'loft a TV monitor cameraed the verve for the line from White City W12.

P.S The paragraph relates to a person 'giving it the big one', as when after he'd announced out loud in a bookmakers two dogs he fancied to win a particular race.

So, is there anything wrong, grammatically, with this paragraph. I'm thinking mostly in terms of verbs. Thank you.
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I have serious trouble parsing at least half of it. I'm okay with the first sentence. I can't find a verb in the second sentence. The third one seems okay, but the fourth one escapes me.
Much obliged to you. Re sentence No2 'teller' was wrong and confusing, I should have written 'the woman'; I have didn't for the verb (did) and it as a statement not for a question e.g. I 'did'; I could also have written ' the woman who was behind the counter...' but I choose not to as I thought 'did' might suffice for the main(?) verb in the sentence. Re sentence No 4 I have 'bang' for the verb... . What do you think of my explanations (should you or anyone else have the time)? Thanks again.
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Didn't I, at least insofar as the teller behind the counter, and her wryly amused over 1 with 6.
This is a question. Did I not WHAT? Does it refer to something in the previous sentence?

There's nothing wrong with "the teller behind the counter," by the way!

Okay, so this is the rhetorical British "Didn't I." (Sorry. I missed part of your explanation.)

You're saying, "I did deliver." (full stop) "Didn't I." This must be taken as casual conversation, I would say.

The following two phrases are both parenthetical, in my opinion.
The first one seems to need "was concerned." I've never heard it omitted in this case:
at least insofar as the teller behind the counter was concerned - and her [being] wryly amused over 1 with 6. (I'd use the dash.)

The third sentence is essentially, "She was that," "that" referring to "amused."

Bang on the money, for dogs be praised 'loft a TV monitor cameraed the verve for the line from White City W12.
I take "bang on the money" as a fixed expression, having no verb. ("Right on the money!")

Do you see "cameraed" as the verb here?

I can't parse " 'loft a" . Does this refer to a particular monitor situated in "loft A"?
AvangiDidn't I, at least insofar as the teller behind the counter, and her wryly amused over 1 with 6.This is a question. Did I not WHAT? Does it refer to something in the previous sentence?There's nothing wrong with "the teller behind the counter," by the way!Okay, so this is the rhetorical British "Didn't I." (Sorry. I missed part of your explanation.)You're saying, "I did deliver." (full stop) "Didn't I." This must be taken as casual conversation, I would say.The following two phrases are both parenthetical, in my opinion.The first one seems to need "was concerned." I've never heard it omitted in this case:at least insofar as the teller behind the counter was concerned - and her [being] wryly amused over 1 with 6. (I'd use the dash.)The third sentence is essentially, "She was that," "that" referring to "amused."Bang on the money, for dogs be praised 'loft a TV monitor cameraed the verve for the line from White City W12.I take "bang on the money" as a fixed expression, having no verb. ("Right on the money!")Do you see "cameraed" as the verb here?I can't parse " 'loft a" . Does this refer to a particular monitor situated in "loft A"?
Looking at it now, and for how you explain it, 'Didn't I' comes across as distinctly akward. But just for the sake of convenience, were I to leave it so (Didn't I.), does the succeeding sentence not strike you for a fragment? I'm, in my ignorance, just wondering. Maybe you could explain it for me - account for it as otherwise. When you say about 'insofar as' needing 'was concerned', who am I to disagree? However, I think it comes across as pedantic, but am probably wrong about that. When you parenthise [being] in the same sentence, I'm assuming that means the word isn't strictly necessary? Point taken about the fixed expression! I do have cameraed for a verb, but looking at the sentence doesn't be praised count for the finite verb here? I dont quiet get your "loft A" thing. If I might paraphrase the whole thing, ' Horrah, and praise those dogs shown on the TV monitor which was situated above all our heads and which transmitted the race from the dog track. Ta!
JIM1984 does the succeeding sentence not strike you for a fragment?
It absolutely does. But, as I said, I don't consider it "the succeeding sentence," but a pair of parenthetical expressions, the second relating to the first.

I'd actually be inclined to run the first two "sentences" together, since the "didn't I" is the only finite verb in the second, and is really a quip to the first.

As I said in my first post, the "didn't I" is technically in response to "I did deliver," but since this is casual conversation, we must allow that the speaker may intend it to be in respose to the non-finite "to have pulled it off with a little aplomb."

So the two phrases about the lady really go with the first sentence.

I did deliver, didn't I, (at least as far as the lady was concerned - and her she [being] amused). That's the guts of it
JIM1984When you say about 'insofar as' needing 'was concerned', who am I to disagree? However, I think it comes across as pedantic, but am probably wrong about that.
. I don't believe it would be natural in AmE to omit it, unless I completely misunderstand your meaning.

We do say things like, "I did deliver, didn't I, at least as regards the teller." (No "as far as X was concerned")

Yes, [being] is optional.
JIM1984doesn't be praised count for the finite verb here?
Dogs be praised? I took it as an expression like "God is great!"
JIM1984I dont quiet get your "loft A" thing.
Indeed! That was my point!
JIM1984If I might paraphrase the whole thing, ' Horrah, and praise those dogs shown on the TV monitor which was situated above all our heads and which transmitted the race from the dog track.
Bang on the money, for dogs be praised 'loft a TV monitor cameraed the verve for the line from White City W12. You've gotta be kidding!
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AvangiI'd actually be inclined to run the first two "sentences" together, since the "didn't I" is the only finite verb in the second, and is really a quip to the first.
Yeah, it could be done, but the point has been made clear with regard to a number of options.

Avangi as regards the teller."
I mixed both (insofar as, regards) up, easy done I expect.

For a comparative novice like myself whether 'Dogs be praised' is or ain't an expression might not appear to matter. 'Horrah (no comma) for the boys in blue etc... .' Same old, same old - 'Bang on the money (no comma) for ...W12.' \ 'loft a TV monitor' stresses me not one bit!

Much obliged.