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Could someone please be so kind as to help me correct these sentences?

I know there are a lot, but I'm hoping there is no need to reword just pick how to say them. I hope so at least. Theses sentences are important as I'm translating my book from french to english and need you help with these sentences I've translated. I'm sorry for the big batch. "It's a diary, the day in the life of" sort of book by the way.

1 I don't mean/Not to be a buzz kill but could you please turn it down.

2 I feel pressure in/around my temples. I have a massive headache.
3 What bus stop is after X?/What's the stop after X?
4 What number of the street is the building (at)?
5 Will the snow stay/hold or will it melt by tomorrow?
6 Do you know how long I can't have contact lens (for)?
7 You know what I like more than myself./I

8 I love the sensation (I get/have) when I do this.

9 The dress is too big on/for me.

10 My break up with my boyfriend was some much harder than (with) my ex boyfriend.

11 The show gets nastier as we go/as we progress. Each episode is more hardcore than the last.

12 I see you more often/much more than her.

13 He's bipolar. His condtion comes in spurts/periods. Sometimes he'll be fine for a few months and then worse.

14 People remembered him for his eyes/He was remembered by his eyes/because of his eyes.

15 How many degrees is your processor/How hot is your processor? Emotion: computer

Thank you so much
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I can't say the #7 is grammatically wrong - I'm not an expert in grammar. You may hear people say this but it doesn't sound as good.

1 I don't mean/Not to be a buzz kill but could you please turn it down.

I don't mean to be a buzz kill . . . . (although I've never heard the term 'buzz kill')

2 I feel pressure in/around my temples. I have a massive headache.

When I feel pressure around my temples I have a massive headache.

3 What bus stop is after X?/What's the stop after X?

What bus stop is after X? . . .assuming the reader doesn't know the characters are on a bus, otherwise you could use . . . What's the stop after X?
4 What number of the street is the building (at)?

What is the address of the building?
5 Will the snow stay/hold or will it melt by tomorrow?

Will the snow stay or will it melt by tomorrow?
6 Do you know how long I can't have contact lens (for)?

Do you know how long I can wear contact lenses for? - I think this is what you are trying to say.
7 You know what I like more than myself./I

You know what I like more than I do.

8 I love the sensation (I get/have) when I do this.

I love the sensation I get when I do this.

9 The dress is too big on/for me.

The dress is too big for me.

10 My break up with my boyfriend was some much harder than (with) my ex boyfriend.

My break up with my boyfriend was so much harder than with my ex boyfriend.

11 The show gets nastier as we go/as we progress. Each episode is more hardcore than the last.

The show gets nastier as we go along. or The show gets nastier as we progress.

12 I see you more often/much more than her.

I see you more often than her - meaning more frequently

I see you much more than her - meaning more time spent with her than with the other unnamed person



13 He's bipolar. His condtion comes in spurts/periods. Sometimes he'll be fine for a few months and then worse.

His condition comes in spurts.

14 People remembered him for his eyes/He was remembered by his eyes/because of his eyes.

People remembered him for his eyes.

15 How many degrees is your processor/How hot is your processor?

How hot is your processor? or What temperature does your processor operate at? (better)
Comments  
alc241 I don't mean/Not to be a buzz kill but could you please turn it down?.
2 I feel pressure in/around my temples. I have a massive headache. My temples pang.
3 What bus stop is after X?/What's the stop after X?
4 What number of the street is the building at?
5 Will the snow linger/hold on or it will have melted by tomorrow?
6 Do you know how long I can't have contact lens?
7 You know what I like more than myself.
8 I love the sensation (I get/have) when I do this.
9 The dress is too big on/for me. The dress is on a big side.
10 My break-up with my boyfriend was much harder than (with) my ex boyfriend.
11 The show gets nastier as we go/as we progress. Each episode is more of a hardcore than the last.
12 I see you more often/much more often than her.
13 He's bipolar. His condtion comes in spurts/periods. Sometimes he'll be fine for a few months and then worse. He is volatile/ He is prone to mood swings.
14 People remembered him for his eyes/He was remembered by his eyes/because of his eyes.
15 How many degrees is your processor/How hot is your processor? Emotion: computer
Processor frequency is not measured by degrees. It is in hertzes. The temperature is.

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 Anne58's reply was promoted to an answer.
Hello Fandorin,

Question ,

what does khoff have to do with this? I don't understand your post.
Thank you
Hello Anne,

For number 6

6 Do you know how long I can't have contact lens (for)?
Do you know how long I can wear contact lenses for? - I think this is what you are trying to say.

I'm trying to say "he can't wear them"

Do you know how long I can't wear lens for?/ Guess how long I can't wear them for?

Thank you
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Aaargh. Sorry for all the confusion. I believe I have now restored Fandorin's post to its original form. I've removed all my comments (which were inserted in it accidentally when I hit "edit" instead of "reply.") So his post is back to the way it was when he posted it.
Hi Anne. Can you drop me a hint on my mistakes if any? Thank you. I am most curious about these. Thank you so much in advance.
FandorinWill the snow linger/hold on or it will have melted by tomorrow?
FandorinEach episode is more of a hardcore than the last.
"hardcore" is an adjective -- "more hardcore," not "more of a hardcore."

Also, on #9 -- the expression is "on the big side" -- but that does not necessarily mean it's too big for me.
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Thank you, Khoff. I get it.