+0

I incompletely agree with the view. The countries in the world should support each other. They should not only be concentrated on their own communities and countries. Firstly, in the global pandemic circumstance has been taking place severely. It is necessary for people to aid each other. For instance, one country was being overwhelmed disease case. They need the large number of oxygen ventilator. Other countries shall assist that country to surmount the problematic issue. Simultaneously, they could ameliorate a good relationship with one another. Secondly, we could cooperate to stimulate th economy. The thriving economyis mainstay for the developing of a country. For example, Vietnam has collaborated with United states in many fields such as energy, science- technology, infraststructure and so on. Vietnam could have access to altramodern initiatives, gain many profound knowledge. This cooperation will remarkably boost Vietnam's economy. Finally, we could collaborate with many countries to resolve unemployment. The unemnployment has been an imperative issue at many countries in the world. Vietnams been cooperating with Japan to transfer workforce to Japan that plummet unemployment rate, enhance citizen's living standard. Furthermore, the workers will strengthen Japan'prosperous economy. To summarise, I diametrically believe that helping people has benificial impacts on our life. It is said that we have significantly fostering all our life aspects.

+0

You need to rewrite this in th form of paragraphs. Have you been taught how to do that yet?

Nobody wants to read an essay read that consists of just one dense paragraph!

Clive

+0

Please post essays, paragraphs, dialogues and other writing in the essay forum so a moderator does not have to move your post.
https://www.englishforums.com/English/EssayReportCompositionWriting/Forum9.htm


Please do not put the essay instructions in the "Subject" line.
Put it with your answer in the message body.

Subject: Please review my IELTS essay

Message body:
Topic:

We can not help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Please copy the instructions correctly and completely. You made an error.


My essay:

(Your text here...)
---------------------

Here is a guide to writing IELTS Task 2.