which inroduction paragraph is the best for my IELTS essay topic?why?

topic: Learning a foreign language offers an insight into how people from other cultures think and see the world. The teaching of a foreign language should be compulsory at all primary schools.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

(I) Nowadays the debate over whether or not students should be obliged to learn foreign language has sparked a great deal of controversy among people and educational psychologists. In spite of some beliefs that forcing elementary students to learn another language sophisticate them to know more about other nations' properties and give them a new approach to the world, many are of the opinion that we should pay more attention to some negative effects of this action. The above mentioned will be elaborated more.

(II) Perception of nations' civilizations and beliefs can be improved by learning their languages. So, some experts believe elementary students have to learn other languages at schools whereas some others think it can confuse them and make some conflicts in their domestic beliefs and opinions. To cast more clarification on the offered points, the following seems necessary.

(III) A new view to opinions and beliefs of other nations will be achieved by learning other countries languages. In spite of some people believe that elementary schools have to teach foreign languages, many are the opinion that it has some bad effects and should be started later. The aforementioned points will be enlightened more.
The first is the only one that is not internally inconsistent. Delete the last sentence of any of the three that you decide to use, however.
Teachers: We supply a list of EFL job vacancies
thanks for your answer but my teacher said to me use these cliche(last sentence of each intro) to connect your introduction to budy. is it necessary? which book do you suggest for IELTS writing? i need to know more about IELTS essay structure and how to write as a native.
thanks again
Those are absolutely wrong. The sentence flow of a good essay should not end in such an obvious discourse marker, but what is said in each section should lead the reader's thought naturally to the next ideas. There is nothing unique about IELTS essays; the same guidelines for good essay composition apply universally. There are plenty of websites that show you the point of a good introduction,examples, etc.

Try these, for example:




And look at the introductions for these essays (they are above the titles, for some reason!):


You can find many more by googling Essay writing, essay composition, essay introductions, etc.