The bandage was wound around the wound.

The farm was used to produce produce.

The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

He could lead if he would get the lead out.

The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to
present the present.

A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

I did not object to the object.

There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

They were too close to the door to close it.

The buck does funny things when the does are present.

A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

After a number of injections my jaw got number.

Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England nor French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 mees e? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb through annals of history but not a single annal? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Park on driveways and drive on parkways? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people , not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible? And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it? English is a silly language - it doesn't know if it is coming or going.
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Very Interesting!!
Maybe this is why English is somewhat hard to learn. You can observe that one word could contain many different meanings especially the phrasal verbs e.g. come up/down/out/into etc. when you added these prepositions to COME, the meaning will change. You should know that whatever level of knowledge you reached in any field of language, you’ll feel you’re still need more to know.
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GuestAnd why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it?
Maybe tha't why Microsoft has the "start" button to turn the computer off!

The Craziest Language

We'll begin with a box and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox should be oxen not oxes.

Then one fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why is the plural of booth booths and not beeth?

Then, one may be that and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose.
And the plural of cat is cats, and not cose.

We speak of brother and also of brethren,
But, though we say mother, we never say methren.

Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the femine; she, shis and shim.

So English, I fancy, you will agree;
Is the craziest language you ever did see.
I, for once in my life, will actually defend English. I easily understood each of those sentences with very little thought. This is a rare thing considering I find a new thing in English to complain about everyday.

In case your wondering, today's is "you are". If you are referring to a single person, would it not be correct to say "you is"?
^
ironic
"Why isn't it 'You is' when 'you' is used in the singular ?"

Because "you" really is a plural (in fact, or a plural of respect) all the time. Originally English had the "familiar" forms "Thou art" etc., but they have fallen out of use. French and German still have the familiar forms ("Tu es" and "Du bist"), but they are not used in polite conversation with strangers.

DaveC
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Anonymous"Why isn't it 'You is' when 'you' is used in the singular ?"
Only the simple present tense, third person singular, uses "is." All the other persons and numbers use "are."
"You" is second person, regardless of whether it's singular or plural.

He is, That is, This is, John is, The cat is, the ball is, the man is, etc.

Old song: Is you is or is you ain't my baby?
The form "You was" for singular past was becoming accepted in English in the early 1800's. But that coincided with the first strict grammar textbooks, which frowned upon this change. It almost became: I was, you was, he/she/ it was in the singular, and "Were" in the plural. A sensible change!

Sometimes the proscriptivists just have to let well enough alone...

A good source of this usage is in the personal letters of the American President, John Quincy Adams, who uses the form "you was," as in this example from 1776:

I was informed, a day or two before the receipt of your letter, that you was gone to Plymouth, by Mrs. Polly Palmer, who was obliging enough, in your absence, to send me the particulars of the expedition to the lower harbor against the men of war.
Guest boxing rings are square
I knew they were square even as a child in the 40's. We didn't have TV, and listened to all the fights on radio. I just didn't know why they were all held in a garden, though its shape was never in question.
(All of the important fights were held in Madison Square Garden, in New York.)

Sorry I so completely missed the gist of this thread. Emotion: embarrassed - A.
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