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Hi Anita,

I'm not putting the emphasis on costs at all. The "try before you buy" is just a fun way of saying that you should try something before you commit yourself to it. It doesn't always have an association with money. Negotiate is not necessarily only a 'business' word. It shows that you have to come to agreement. It's used in international relations, hostages etc.
I agree that u should know each other before getting married but that can be done in just courting also, why live-in relationship?


I have just read something about this tonight.
(I have loosely translated it from Spanish - the article appears on the terra.cl site)
It was talking about why most people separate in the first 9 months of marriage.

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According to specialists many separations are directly related to the end of the 'romance' or 'idealic love' stage that happens at the beginning of relationships. This is the time when each person shows the best of themselves to satisfy the needs of the other and they hide their defects, not in a bad way, but it is hidden nonetheless. This is the moment when they create images or expectatives that become far from the truth (reality).

Then, when they marry or decide to live together, they will have to see and confront the reality. Many defects and differences appear and the real 'me' and the real 'other' comes out and on many occasions it can be quite unbearable.

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As I mentioned before, this is what happens if you don't get to know each other better. Even if you have been dating or going our for years though you have been living apart, you still don't get to see the real side of the person. People don't usually mention their bad habits to their partners because they don't often know that they have them.
That's why you really see how compatible you are when you live together first. It's not always necessary though I think it is good to see first.

Well, now I get your point. Okay so it is true for people who want to marry after a 'trail' of live-in relationship.But what about all of those millions of couples who just live-in for some time and then break up. Isn't it as bad as in a marriage break-up? In fact it may be worse if each of them or one of them feels that they have been used and discarded.

So how is it different from a marriage?
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When we fall in love for the first time (or when we usually fall in love), we think it's gonna last for a lifetime. We think there will not be anything better than this in our entire life. We feel as if we are "CUPID's OWN"!! Emotion: smile Most of us are extremely young at this point of time.

But, after marriage, which soon follows, we feel otherwise. It's then that we see the reality. As even Anita agrees. It's then that we feel - "We should have waited a bit longer"!! Emotion: crying

What's done remains done, so no use crying now. That's where live-in relationships come in handy. Live-in relationships give us a fair chance to grow as a human and even as an adult. Marriages hardly give us time to grow. Marriages bring a lot of commitments, responsibilities etc. with it. Satisfying these we hardly get time to grow. There is a sense of urgency, because we have gotten married - we have to satisfy these additional responsibilities. Since we are not matured enough to handle such advanced states of mind, we crumble under pressure. Or most of us start acting like machines and that's where monotony creeps in. And then follows the boss - "DIVORCE"!! (U)

Practically speaking it's the "Live-in Relationships" that help us grow and understand each other better. It is only then we can help our partner grow rather than cramping up the space, like in marriages.

So, atleast for me, live-in relationships are better than marriages any day any time. Anita I hope I've been able to answer your query.
I agree with Vinod
Hi Anita,

I agree with you that people are preferring live-in-relationships than marriage, the only reason behind this is that our society restrict them for many things and just to remove their frustration they go for that.

Mohit
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I think marriage is a good institution if you get a good partner( although it is difficult to define a good partner because it varies from person to person).but if there is no marriage system all childern will born as lovechild.
Hello, I just wanted to give my opinion, and not to critizise anyone, so dont get me wrong...I think everone has the perfect right to do what he likes...

I´m living in an relationship for many years now, and i dont get the point of getting married, unless you are religious or want to save money or somthing like this.(Or have children and a house and want to have security for them if you are divorcing)

I have the feeling, since I could go everyday without to much `problems´ (like divorcing, dividing the money an all those things), it is like I am deciding everyday new to be with my partner, and for me that counts more than line a paper once and than you `bought´ each other.

It´s perfectly OK with me, if someone wants to get marryid because it gives him a stronger feeling of relationship, or because he wants to have the blessing of his god, it must be nice if you have this feelings.But since I´m not religious, marrying for me is an empty thing that changes nothing for my relationship. Why is it that if you dont want to marry, everone wonders why? For me its the other way round, the normal thing is not to be married, and you should have a good purpose for your self to get married.

I am sometimes a little bit overworn because so many people ask me `Why dont you marry?´ as if i have a problem...
<...I am sometimes a little bit overworn because so many people ask me `Why dont you marry?´ as if i have a problem...>

Just tell them you don't believe in sleeping with married women.

MrP
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Hey, good answer, but since I´m a women, I´ll change it a little bit... lol
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