Hey.. I've written this poem but I think there are some grammar mistakes. Could please someone correct it and give any opinion about this poem?? thank you

Wish

Just by listening you say hi

I can feel me as the happiest person in the world

And now I can be sure

I'm not able to live without you by my side

Then what I need is talk to you

It's suck all of your energy

It's dream by hearing your voice

This love is so strong that all things I can forgive

And I could till love my enemies

But I'm not a saint, neither you are

The blood run hot inside my vein

And when I hear your pretty words,

Your breath isn't enough

Nor your kisses can quench my desire

I want my body licked

I need my nipples bitten

I with to be totally eaten

And when I reach the highest pleasure

I'm gonna hold you strong

Keeping you deep inside me and freeze the moment

In order to feel no longer myself alone

Right now I just want to stay lied with you

To have ours bodies joined forever

I cold live just by breathing your power

I wish we don't drift apart, never
A poem about love and pasion two explosive feelings for the heart of a poor human being. Emotion: wink Congratulations Suellen, your poem is good. I hope you share some of your feelings through your poems...

Fred (rick)

Here's the proofread version -

Wish

Just by hearing you say hi,

I can feel like I'm the happiest person in the world

And now I can be sure

I cannot live without you by my side

Then what I need is to talk to you.

It'll suck all of your energy,

It's a dream hearing your voice

This love is so strong that all things I can forgive -

And I could even love my enemies

But I'm not a saint, neither are you

The blood runs hot inside my veins

And when I hear your pretty words,

Your breath isn't enough

Nor can your kisses quench my desire

I want my body licked

I need my nipples bitten

I wish to be totally eaten

And when I reach the highest pleasure

I'm gonna hold you strong

Keeping you deep inside me, and freeze the moment

In order to feel myself no longer alone

Right now I just want to stay lying with you

To have ours bodies joined forever

I could live just by breathing your power

I hope we don't drift apart, never

It's a beautiful poem, Suellen. Keep on writing, your grammar will improve with experience.

Cheers,

- Joy.