Hi, I will take IELTS general and now practicing writing. Wondering if some native speakers are kind enough to help me correcting my poor writing.

Thank you very much!!


Task 1:

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

Write at least 150 words.

You do not need to write your own address.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear.......................,
1.You have had a bank account for a few years. Recently you received a letter from the bank stating that your account is $240 overdrawn and that you will be charged $70 which will be taken directly from your account. You know that this information is incorrect. Write a letter to the bank. Explain what has happened and say what you would like them to do about it.

<my answer>
Dear Sirs/Madams,I was wondering if you could explain about the $70 automatically charged.It was claimed that my account is $240 overdrawn.Though, I checked my account record carefully, but there has not been such a shortage.So, this should have been some sort of mistake.Would you please check and if you find any evidence, please transfer it to me.I would like to make sure when the overdraw happened and what was the cause if there is any.Please return the $70 if you find this is just a mistake.Let me mention I have been paying attention not to pay any extra money for overdrawn staff, so been careful managing account.This should not have happen to me.Please also let me know the cause why this has happened. My name, account NO., address and tel NO. are below.And attached is the statement you send.I appreciate your help I advance.

1 2
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Dear Sirs,

Could you please supply further documentation on the $70 automatically charged to my account.

It was claimed that my account is $240 overdrawn. However, I have checked my account records carefully, and there is no such shortage, so this must be some sort of mistake. Would you please check and send me any evidence to the contrary. Could you supply the date of the overdraft. Let me mention that I have been paying careful attention to my account balance.

My name, account number, address and telephone number are below. I have also attached a copy of the statement you sent me.

I appreciate your attention to this matter.

(You'll have to come up with another 29 words yourself.)
Mister Micawber,

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Dear xxx,
Personally, I do think that you have fully understood the question.
Frist all, its about the overdrawn in your account..........following by the ' bank will charged $70 from your account", which means that it havent happen yet, but its going to happen soon. That is the reason you are writting this letter to the bank to explain the whole situation. However, in your letter, you kind of sending message to us that its have been already happend. That is your frist mistake.
"Writting this letter is actually ask you to explain to the bank about it and make requirements to correct the information and cancel the extra $70"--- that is the whole task you have to completed it.
Secondly, your letter doesnt have paragraph. Its really bad! sorry! You kind make all the information in one paragraph. its hard to the reader to follow ur wrote down.
Good luck with it !
Regards,
XXX
Please help to check on my letter, thank you in advance

Dear Sir/Madam, In reply to your letter dated 21 August, I am writing to clarify that the $240 overdrawn was caused by your mistake and obviously the $70 charge shall not be imposed on me. I have had a car loan facility with your bank since January 2006. The monthly installment of car loan was $300 per month and it has been auto debit from my account. Recently I sold off my car 3 months ago. I wrote to your Loan Department to cancel the car loan facility, requested to stop the auto debit of my installment, and I had made full payment to settle my car loan. However, when I check my last month statement, I discovered that a transaction of $300 paid for my car loan was done. I called up the bank and your manager admitted the mistake and promised to rectify the error. I must emphasize that I have been using your banking facilities for almost 5 years and I never encounter any problem. I am sure this is a rare case and I am not blaming anyone. I would grateful if you could check with your Loan Department and resolve this matter as soon as you can. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Yours sincerely,
Hi,

You need to organize your letter into paragraphs.

The simplest approach is this.

Paragraph 1 - Briefly explain why you are writing to them.

Paragraph 2 - Explain the problem in detail.

Paragraph 3 - Say politely what you want them to do.

Paragraph 4 - Thank them for their forthcoming help.

After you do this, repost your letter for more detailed comments.

Best wishes, CliveEmotion: smile
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Dear Sir/Madam,

In reply to your letter dated 21 August, I am writing to clarify that the $240 overdrawn was caused by your mistake and obviously the $70 charge shall not be imposed on me.

I have had a car loan facility with your bank since January 2006. The monthly installment of car loan was $300 per month and it has been auto debit from my account. Recently I sold off my car 3 months ago. I wrote to your Loan Department to cancel the car loan facility, requested to stop the auto debit of my installment, and I had made full payment to settle my car loan. However, when I check my last month statement, I discovered that a transaction of $300 paid for my car loan was done. I called up the bank and your manager admitted the mistake and promised to rectify the error at once.

I must emphasize that I have been using your banking facilities for almost 5 years and I never encounter any problem. I am sure this is a rare case and I am not blaming anyone. I would grateful if you could check with your Loan Department and resolve this matter as soon as you can.

Thank you in advance and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours sincerely,
Hi,

Much better.[Y]

Clive

Dear..,
1.You have had a bank account for a few years. Recently you received a letter from the bank stating that your account is $240 overdrawn and that you will be charged $70 which will be taken directly from your account. You know that this information is incorrect. Write a letter to the bank. Explain what has happened and say what you would like them to do about it.

Dear Sir/Madam,

You need to give your account number, probably branch info as well.

In reply to your letter dated 21 August, I am writing to clarify that the $240 overdrawal amount was caused by your mistake and that obviously the $70 charge shall should not be imposed on me.

I have had a car loan facility with your bank since January 2006. The monthly installment forit of car loan was $300 per month and it has been auto debited from my account. Recently I sold off my car 3 months ago. I wrote to your Loan Department to cancel the car loan facility, requested you to stop the auto debit of my installment, and I had made full payment to settle my car loan. However, when I checked my last month statement, I discovered that a debit transaction of $300 paid for my car loan was done. I called up the bank and your manager admitted the mistake and promised to rectify the error at once.

I must emphasize that I have been using your banking facilities for almost 5 years and I have never before encountered any problem. I am sure this is a rare case and I am not blaming anyone. I would grateful if you could check with your Loan Department and resolve this matter as soon as you can.

Thank you in advance and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours sincerely,
how about this?? please correct me

Dear Sir,
Subject - regarding letter received from the bank for debit of $70 to my account
I am account holder of your bank since from 3 years,bearing account number xxxxxxxxx, today I have received a letter from your branch addressing that $240 overdrawn money from my account.
According to me I have not overdrawn as I was out of station for 6 months and I was not operated any of the banks transactions during this period. I am aware of my all transactions, The information provided by your bank is totally incorrect and unacceptable, please verify my all transaction one more time and I request you to not to deduct any sort of charge for the same.
Please address my issue as earliest hope you do the needful, Thank you
Regards
XXXX
XXXX
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