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(Thank you very much in advance for reading and correcting my essay)

The flowchart shows how aluminium cans are recycled. Firstly, citizens living in a particular area bring the cans that are made of only aluminium to a big public box and put them into the box. Then, the cans travel to the factory for recycling. At this stage, they are cleaned, sorted, shredded into pieces, and compressed in a box. Next, they are passed to another machine and heated until all of them form a single mass. After this, they are placed into another device to be flattened out by the rollers. Then, these thin sheets of aluminium metal travel to a recycling area to be transformed into can shapes. Next, they are brought to drinking factories to be replenished by fizzy drinks or other types. Finally, all of these cans pass to stores ready for distribution to consumers. At this last stage, everyone can easily buy them at grocery stores. There was a large number of recycled and reused cans by 74% in the UK.

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Subject: Please review my IELTS essay

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My essay:

(Your text here...)
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Students: We have free audio pronunciation exercises.

Topic: A University Lecturer Describing The Flowchart Below (It Shows The Recycling Process Of Aluminium Cans)./data/user/0/com.samsung.android.app.notes/files/clipdata/clipdata_bodytext_210725_230431_098.sdocx->

My essay:

The flowchart shows how aluminium cans are recycled. Firstly, citizens living in a particular area bring the cans that are made of only aluminium to a big public box and put them into the box. Then, the cans travel to the factory for recycling. At this stage, they are cleaned, sorted, shredded into pieces, and compressed in a box. Next, they are passed to another machine and heated until all of them form a single mass. After this, they are placed into another device to be flattened out by the rollers. Then, these thin sheets of aluminium metal travel to a recycling area to be transformed into can shapes. Next, they are brought to drinking factories to be replenished by fizzy drinks or other types. Finally, all of these cans pass to stores ready for distribution to consumers. At this last stage, everyone can easily buy them at grocery stores. There was a large number of recycled and reused cans by 74% in the UK.
/data/user/0/com.samsung.android.app.notes/files/clipdata/clipdata_bodytext_210725_230822_967.sdocx->

Your text needs to be divided into paragraphs.

Write three paragraphs for Task 1 essays.

1) Introduction - describe the infographic (table, bar chart, pie chart...)

2) Pick out two or three main features. (What are your most significant observations?)

3) Describe some details and focus on comparisons.

Teachers: We supply a list of EFL job vacancies

The flowchart shows how aluminium cans are recycled. (You are missing the "main features" paragraph. ) Firstly, First, citizens living in a particular area bring the cans that are made of only aluminium to a big public box and put them into the box. Then, the cans travel (not good English) to the factory for recycling. At this stage, they are cleaned, sorted, shredded into pieces, and compressed in a box. Next, they are passed to another machine and heated until they are melted. all of them form a single mass. After this, they are placed into another device to be flattened out by the rollers. Then, these thin sheets of aluminium metal travel (not good English) to a recycling area to be made into cans. transformed into can shapes. Next, they are brought to drinking factories (wrong expression) to be replenished (wrong word) by fizzy drinks or other types. Finally, all of these cans pass to stores ready for distribution to consumers. At this last stage, everyone can easily buy them at grocery stores. There was a large number of recycled and reused cans by 74% in the UK. (not good English)


If you would like a sample essay for this task, you can ask.

Thank you for your feedback^^. Please help me correct some yellow highlights that are not good in English. Thank you very much , it really helps me.🌹😘

Sample Essay;

The flowchart illustrates the process by which aluninium cans are recycled.

Overall, there are six major steps, starting with people taking empty cans to a recycling bin, and ending with them buying new cans of fizzy drinks. Seventy-four percent of all used aluminum cans in the UK go through the recycling process.

In detail, people save up empty aluminium cans and take them to a collection bin. After the bin has a lot of cans and other used aluminium, it is emptied and the cans are taken to a processing center. In the second step, the cans are cleaned, sorted, shredded and compressed into metal blocks. Third, the blocks are heated in a furnace. After the metal is softened, it goes through a rolling machine which produces sheets that have a thickness of 2.5 to 6 mm. That ends the fourth step. Then the sheets are taken to a factory which forms the sheets into cans, and fills the cans with soda. In the final, sixth step, the cans of fizzy soda are distributed to retail stores, where customers buy them.

Site Hint: Check out our list of pronunciation videos.
AlpheccaStarsthe cans travel

The cans are taken to a factory...
The cans are delivered to..

The cans are transported by truck to..

AlpheccaStarsNext, they are brought to drinking factories to be replenished (wrong word) by fizzy drinks or other types.

Next, they are brought to factories where canned drinks are made. They will be filled with fizzy drinks or other types of drinks.

AlpheccaStarshere was a large number of recycled and reused cans by 74% in the UK.

In the UK, 74% of the aluminium cans are recycled.

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