+0
If you see any mistakes , please correct me. Many thanks in advance.

1. This paper is is poorly organized and the discussion is not strong . The second paragraph needs to work on to be more focused.

2. The organization is good but the content needs to work more on because some parts contain ideas or information that is not strong enough to persuade your readers.

3. Your argument in the second pararaph needs to be reconsidered or revised because it does not support your main idea.
+0
Hi,

1. This paper is is poorly organized and your argumenta are weak. The second paragraph needs to be more focused.



2. The organization is good but you need to work more on the content. Some of your arguments are not strong enough to persuade your readers.



3. Your argument in the second pararaph needs to be reconsidered or revised because it does not support your main idea.

Clive
Comments  
I am still waiting for your comment. Please help me.
 Clive's reply was promoted to an answer.