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  1. The graph below shows changes in young adult unemployment rates in England between 1993 and 2012.

The line graph illustrates the percentage of the jobless English during a period from 1993 to 2012.

As can be seen from the graph, there was an upward trend in the both proportion of redundant workers who were in aged 16-24 lived in London and rest of England while the figure of unemployed young people in London and rest of England saw a downward trend over the given period.

In 1993, the rate of the aged 16-24 jobless young people in London gained the leading position with about 23% whereas the figure of total London workers just were about 10% and occupied the final position. During a sixth year period from 1993 to 1999, both of them also were a lightly decrease and leveled out at 15% with the aged 16-24 workers and about 7,5% with the total workers in London in several years. After the proposion of the jobless people in 16-24 aged increase significantly and got 25% in 2012.

In rest of England, the percentage of the 16-24 aged redundant people were 17% and followed by others with 10% in 1993. This figure decreased lightly from 1993 to 2004 and increased dramatically again after and got about 20% in 2012 and It gained a second position .

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The line graph illustrates the percentage of the jobless English during a period from 1993 to 2012. (That is not an accurate summary of what the chart shows.)

As can be seen from the graph, there was an upward trend in the both proportion of redundant (incorrect word) workers who were in aged 16-24 lived in London and rest of England while the figure of unemployed young people in London and rest of England saw a downward trend over the given period. (This sentence seems to be contradictory. You say that the percentages go up and go down at the same time. )

In 1993, the rate of the aged 16-24 jobless young people in London gained the leading position (They are winning?) with about 23% whereas the figure of total London workers just were about 10% and occupied the final position. During a sixth year period from 1993 to 1999, both of them also were a lightly decrease and leveled out at 15% with the aged 16-24 workers and about 7,5% with the total workers in London in several years. After the proposion of the jobless people in 16-24 aged increase significantly and got 25% in 2012.

In rest of England, the percentage of the 16-24 aged redundant people were 17% and followed by others with 10% in 1993. This figure decreased lightly from 1993 to 2004 and increased dramatically again after and got about 20% in 2012 and It gained a second position .