please check my errors and give my possible band score

In many cities, there is little control on the design and construction of new
houses, so people can choose to build houses in their own styles instead
of building them with the same style as the old houses in the local area.
Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In many cities around the world, people have little influence in the design and construction
of their houses. Many people believe it is better to allow people to freely choose the
style and construction of their new homes rather than forcing everyone to follow the
uniform style of the local area. In my opinion, a diversity in housing styles can bring
many more benefits than drawbacks to an area.
To begin with, cities in Vietnam, such as Saigon, have very few, or even no, regulations
on local housing styles, which means that residents in these areas are free to decide
on the architecture for their home.(1) The only disadvantage that may arise is the lack
of uniformity of houses, which can be a unique feature in certain places. The houses in
Hoi An, for instance, demonstrate a consistent style and therefore have made the city a
popular tourist destination. If the house owners in this city change the style and break
this uniformity, the number of tourists visiting the area is likely to decrease.
However, the advantages brought about by a diversity in housing styles are more worthy
of consideration. Firstly, buildings reflecting a variety of architectural designs can make
a city more attractive and appealing to people of different cultures. For example, the
buildings in the centre of Ho Chi Minh city are designed in both European and Asian
styles, which has eventually given the city a more cosmopolitan atmosphere, with
residents coming from many different countries.(2) Secondly, the freedom of choice
in housing styles can allow local people to be more creative, as they can design their
homes in a unique way.
In conclusion, though potentially making some areas less attractive by losing a part of
their character, a diversity in architectural styles should be widely encouraged, as it can
beautify a city and allow residents to be more creative.

Firstly, First, buildings reflecting a variety of architectural designs can make a city more attractive and appealing to people of different cultures.

Secondly, Second, the freedom of choice in housing styles can allow local people to be more creative, as they can design their homes in a unique way.


Thái Võ Quốc - your band score for this essay is zero.

Do you know why?