+0

It is not easy for an adult to distinguish between right and wrong, let alone for a child. That’s why how important it is and why some people argue that punishment should be adopted to learn a kid to be sober. My firm conviction is any violence would do no good for improvement.

On the one hand, the side-effect of penalization is impeccable. It would influence the punished child physically and mentally, on the worst condition, destructively. There were enormous cases in which the teacher harmed young pupils as though he or she claimed to intend to teach them. Besides, unduly discouragement may destruct the activeness of a fragile mind or probably, cause him too timid to express himself to others, which can develop into depression.

On the other hand, there exist much more efficient methods. Anyone would rather accept reasonable advices, for example, an engrossing story regarding choice between right and wrong can attract their attention and teach them the lesson. In my opinion, this way respects the process of learning like raining moistens the dry land. What’s more, there are no better means than a good model can bring a child. If your child drops the package of ice cream aside the street, you can scold him for it and order him to pick it up, but you can be an intelligent parent by showing him a waste container is the ultimate place for garbage.

To end the words, we are not obliged to solve a tricky problem while in the same time, creating potential ones, especially wise solutions are provided. That's why I firmly suggest that no violent punishment should be taken into effect.

+0

What are the instructions for your essay?

韩啸It is not easy for an adult to distinguish between right and wrong,

That is avery strange statement. If adults can't make this distinction, how can they teach the children to do it?

Also, please write your username in English.

韩啸punishment should be adopted to learn a kid to be sober.

"Adopt" and "learn" are wrongly used.

To be sober, don't drink alcohol. Is your essay about abstinence?

韩啸On the one hand, the side-effect of penalization is impeccable.

Penalization and impeccable are wrongly used.

The rest of the essay has many incorrect words and phrase usages. It reads very awkwardly.



+0

I have given some alternatives to the awkward unnatural or incorrect phrasing and highlighted other mistakes.


It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children?


It is not easy for an adult to distinguish between right and wrong, let alone for a child.

Most adults can distinguish the difference between right and wrong, but children can not do this without instruction.


That’s why how important it is and why some people argue that spanking, lashing or scolding punishment should be employed as a method to teach moral behaviour. adopted to learn a kid to be sober. My firm conviction is any violence physical means would be ineffective at best. do no good for improvement.

On the one hand, physical punishment can have adverse and undesirable side effects. the side-effect of penalization is impeccable. Although the child will recover from the immediate pain in a short time, it would certainly leave mental scars, and in the worst case, they can be lifelong. influence the punished child physically and mentally, on the worst condition, destructively. There were enormous cases in which the teacher harmed young pupils as though he or she they claimed that they intended to teach them. Besides, unduly discouragement may destruct the activeness of a fragile mind or probably, cause him (missing words) too timid to express himself to others, a condition which can develop into depression.

On the other hand, (wrong transition usage) there exist much more efficient methods. Anyone would rather accept reasonable advices, (wrong form) for example, an engrossing story regarding the choice between right and wrong can attract their attention and teach them the lesson. In my opinion, this way respects the process of learning like raining (wrong form) moistens the dry land. What’s more, there are no better means than a good model can bring a child. If your child drops the (wrong word) package of ice cream aside (wrong form) the street, you can scold him for it and order him to pick it up, but you can be an intelligent parent by showing him a waste container is the ultimate (wrong word - "right / correct,") place for garbage.

To end the words, we are not obliged to solve a tricky problem while in the same time, creating potential ones, especially wise solutions are provided. That's why I firmly suggest that no violent (Scolding is not violent - lashing, belting or spanking are.) punishment should be taken into effect.

Site Hint: Check out our list of pronunciation videos.
Comments  

Thank you for your comment and suggestion. It would have been better to show the whole topic I was trying to state.

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children?

Tell me if you have any other good idea to improve this essay.

 AlpheccaStars's reply was promoted to an answer.
Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?

It's so kind of you!! Thanks for your help!