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It is said that a child can benefit more from taking part in outdoor activities rather than playing computer games. I completely agree with this statement.

First and foremost, outdoor activities are great ways for a child to maintain holistic health. As they participate in outdoor games such as football or basketball - which require lots of movements, their muscles and joints become stronger and more flexible. Moreover, the very nature of these sports includes lots of running and jumping. So as a result, they can help improve children's stamina and protect them from cardiovascular diseases. Not only physically beneficial, but any activities taking place in an open space can also reduce a child's stress level as they can release some of the negative energy through moving their bodies.

On the other hand, despite the constant efforts to become more educated in recent years, computer games still remain their negative impact on children's development. For example, most of the games are programmed to become addictive, which means a child can spend countless hours playing them even at the cost of skipping meals or losing sleep. This leads to not only their bodies have to suffer from a passive, sedentary lifestyle lacking physical movements, but their mental health also pays the price. Their ability to stay alert is lowered, their attention span is shortened, which in turn disrupts their learning at school.

Last but not least, while outdoor activities can promote social skills such as teamwork and fair play, as well as encourage children to become more confident, computer games may hinder these capacities. When a child spends hours playing by themselves on the computer, they may lack the ability to naturally interact with others in real life, in another word, they are lack of the interpersonal skills. These shortcomings will remain barriers in these children's future.

In conclusion, for the reason mentioned above, I am convinced that outdoor activities can bring about more positive effects, compared to computer games, on a child's development.

Sorry here is the topic Emotion: sad((

Some people say that outdoor activities bring benefits to children's development rather than computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

NgTh. HgDSome people say that outdoor activities bring benefits to children's development rather than computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

That is not good English. This is a minimal change, to make it grammatical, but it is still not very good.

Some people say that outdoor activities bring more benefits to children's development rather than computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

This is much more natural English.

Some people say that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children's development in comparison with computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?

It is said that a child can benefit more from taking part in outdoor activities rather than playing computer games. I completely agree with this statement.

First and foremost, outdoor activities are great ways for a child to be maintain holistically healthy. As they participate in outdoor games such as football or basketball, which require lots of movements, their muscles and joints become stronger and more flexible. Moreover, the very nature of these sports calls for includes lots of running and jumping. So as a result, they can help improve children's stamina and protect them from cardiovascular diseases. Not only physically beneficial, but any activities taking place in an open space can also reduce a child's stress level as they can release some of the negative energy through moving their bodies.

On the other hand, despite the constant efforts to become more educated (wrong word. We educate children, not games.) in recent years, computer games still remain their have a negative impact on children's development. For example, most of the games are programmed to become addictive, which means a child can spend countless hours playing them even at the cost of skipping meals or losing sleep. This leads to not only their bodies have to suffering from a passive, sedentary lifestyle lacking physical movements, but their mental health also pays the a price. Their ability to stay alert is lowered and their attention span is shortened, which in turn disrupts impairs their learning at school.

Last but not least, while outdoor activities can promote social skills such as teamwork and fair play, and as well as encourage children to become more confident, computer games may hinder these capacities. When a child spends hours playing by themselves on the computer, they may lack the ability to naturally interact with others in real life, in another words, they are lack of the interpersonal skills. These shortcomings will remain barriers in these children's future.

In conclusion, for the reason mentioned above, (Do not use "mentioned" The reader just read your reasons. ) because they promote mental and physical health, I am convinced that outdoor activities can bring about have more positive effects, compared to computer games, for a child's development

Thanks so much, I really appreciate your help and kindness. Have a day as lovely as you!

Hi, thanks for pointing out the errors! This is the topic I received from my teacher, so I'm definitely asking him about this the next time I see him.

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NgTh. HgDThis is the topic I received from my teacher, so I'm definitely asking him about this the next time I see him.

Here is the topic that you wrote:

Some people say that outdoor activities bring benefits to children's development rather than computer games.


This sentence literally says that outdoor activities do not bring benefits to computer games but they do bring benefits to children's development.

The phrase "rather than" is not used properly.

I gave the money to my brother rather than my sister. = (I did not give the money to my sister; I gave it to my brother.)

Here is a very recent essay topic where "rather than" is used correctly.

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people.