Writing Task 1

The bar graph compares the daily workings hours of husbands and wives in two age groups - aged 24 to 44 years old and aged 45-64 years old.

It is clear from that graph that the total working time of each gender is nearly unchanged among age groups. Furthermore, the household chores takes more women's time than that of men while the majority working hours of men is in paid employment.

Husbands who aged 24-44 spend around 7 hours per day for paid work while this figure for wives is a bit higher than 5 hours, women also spend the same time duration for their unpaid work at home. By contrast, men only use a mere 2.5 hours to do all their household chores.

In the age of 45 to 64 years old, there is no significant different in the time distribution compares to younger group. To be precise, the daily working hours at home of men decreases by 0.5 hours while women spend a little bit more time in paid work, nearly 6 hour per day and their daily time duration for household chore goes down to under 5 hours .

kienlua868The bar graph compares the daily workings hours of husbands and wives in two age groups - aged 24 to 44 years old and aged 45-64 years old.

kienLua 868:

Are you suggesting corrections for Thảo Võ Thị Thu's essay? Or are you submitting a model essay for this topic? Or is this your essay that you want feedback on?

Please do not to post to other people's threads unless you explain what the purpose of your post is.

If you are submitting your own writing for review, it is very impolite to tack it on to another student's request. Instead, start a new thread of your own.

Thảo Võ Thị Thu; I highlighted the text in your essay that has mistakes.

The chart below shows the average hours worked per day by married men and women in paid employment.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart provides data on how many hours married men and women who are in different age – group work every day in paid employment.

Overall, the total time marriage women work in a day is a little bit more than that marriage men do in the same time. While the time marriage men used for paid work per day is higher than that used by women, this figure spent by them (ambiguous) working inside the home is much more lower.

In two age– group, husbands spend the same number of hours per day on paid work, reaching at about 7 hours. On the other hand, while it takes husbands aged from 24 – 44 about 2.5 hours per day ( compared with around 9 hours in total ) to do unpaid work, this figure has a slight decrease when they become older (only 2 hours) (missing punctuation)

At the age from 24 to 44, wives spend similar time every day on both outside and inside the home, reaching just over 5 hours. As they are (wrong word) older, these women do paid work for about 6.5 hours per day and approximately 4 hours for unpaid work.

Thảo Võ Thị Thu if you have time could you (missing word) give me a model essay for this bar chart?

I wrote my own essay for this chart.

The bar chart compares the average number of hours worked per day between married men and women in two different age groups, 24-44 and 45-64. The work day is further divided into two different categories, that is, paid employment and unpaid work at home, which I assume is housework.

Women in both age groups work more than ten hours per day. In contrast, men work less. The younger men work about 9 hours per day, about an hour per day more than the older men. The women's longer work days are due to the fact that they do more daily housework than their husbands do, about 2.5 hours in the younger group, and 2 hours in the older group. Men in both age groups work longer hours than their wives in paid employment, but the difference is minimal in the older group.

With respect to the age differences, the hours spent on daily housework decreased in the older group compared to the younger group. Perhaps this is due to their children getting older and being able to help their parents around the house. The hours that men worked in paid employment had very little change with age, in contrast with their wives, who worked longer as they grew older. Overall, the older men had shorter work days mainly because they did less housework as they aged. Theses figures can be interpreted to show that women feel responsible for raising the children and doing the housework, so they spend more time than their husbands in these activities. It reminds me of an old saying: "Men work from sun to sun, but women's work is never done."

thank you for your correction as well as your essay <3 but it is too long compared with a model task 1 essay, just about 150 words. ^^

I wonder why the word 'are' in the sentence ' as they are older' is the wrong word?

Thảo Võ Thị Thu as they are older' is the wrong word?

As they are (wrong word) older, these women do paid work for about 6.5 hours per day and approximately 4 hours for unpaid work.

Actually, the clause needs to be changed. The word "as" means "because." Their older age is not the reason for the working hours. The charts do not tell us why, they just give data.

The older women do paid work for about 6.5 hours per day and unpaid work approximately 4 hours per day.

Thảo Võ Thị Thubut it is too long compared with a model task 1 essay, just about 150 words. ^^

Text that is too long is easily remedied; just delete some words. Text that is too short requires more work.