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Please check this report for me

The pie charts give information about the amount of electricity produced from five different sources in Australia and France in two years, 1980 and 2000.

Overall, the total electricity production in both countries increased from 1980 to 2000. After 20 years, coal was the vital source to produce energy in Australia, while, in France, the amount of electricity was almost replaced by nuclea power.

In 1980, 50 units of electricity was produced in 1980 from coal of the total 100 units of electricity. Natural gas and hydropower were generated of equal amount of electricity, with 20 units, being double the figure for oil. Until 2000, coal was also the most of source to produce energy in this country, with 130 units of electricity, while other sources were responsible for producing a neglible amount of electricity, except hydropower less than 25%.

The total of electricity doubled in two decases, at 180 units in France. In which, the amount of electricity was produced mainly from three sources of coal, oil and natural gas. In 2000, they were replaced by nuclear power with 126 units of the total 180 units produced. Nutural gas and hydropower have decreased significantly, whereas coal and oil were still the second sources to produce electricity in this country.

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The pie charts give information about the amount of electricity produced from five different sources in Australia and France in two years, 1980 and 2000.

Overall, the total electricity production in both countries increased, and from 1980 to 2000. After 20 years, coal was the vital main source to produce energy in Australia in both years, while, in France, the distribution was fairly even in the initial year, but amount of electricity was almost replaced by nuclear power was by far the most dominant in the latter.

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You need to tidy up the subsequent paragraphs.

1- Write one paragraph for Australia and one for France, or one for 1980 and one for 2000.

2- You do not need to write out all the details. Instead, summarize what you see.

3- Do not complicate your sentences. Otherwise, you risk making them ungrammatical and unnatural, and that would make you lose marks.

4- Always go over your own work before you submit it to catch out unintended mistakes.

Revise and post below.

Comments  
Students: We have free audio pronunciation exercises.

I rewrote my essay with 2 body paragraphs one for Australia, one for France.

The pie charts give information about the amount of electricity produced from five different sources in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000.

Overall, the total electricity production in both countries increased, and coal was the main source to produce energy in Australia in both years, while, in France, the distribution was fairly even in the initial year, but nuclear power was by far the most dominant in the latter.

In Australia, 50 units of electricity were produced from coal, compared to 20% from natural gas and hydropower. Over the following 20 years, coal was also the most of source to produce energy in this country, with 230 units, while the other sources were responsible for producing a negligible amount of electricity, except hydropower less than 25%.

In France, the total of electricity doubled in two decades, to 180 units in 2000. The amount of electricity generated from sources was almost the same in 1980. By 2020, nuclear power has replaced almost all of the remaining sources with 126 units of the total 180 units produced. Coal and oil were still the second sources to produce electricity in this country

The pie charts give information about the amount of electricity produced from five different sources in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000.

Overall, the total electricity production in both countries increased, and coal was the main source to produce energy in Australia in both years, while, in France, the distribution was fairly even in the initial year, but nuclear power was by far the most dominant in the latter.

In Australia initially, 50 units of electricity were produced from coal, compared to [ 1] 20% 20 each from natural gas and hydropower, and only 10 units from oil. Over the following 20 years, coal was also the foremost of source to produce of energy in [ 2] this that country, with 230 [ 3] 130 units, while the other sources were responsible for producing a negligible amount of electricity, except hydropower at less than 25% [ 3] 36 units.

In France, the total of electricity doubled in two decades, to 180 units. in 2000. Apart from hydropower, the amount of electricity generated from shares of the other four sources was were almost the same in 1980. By 2020, nuclear power [ 4] has had replaced almost all of the remaining sources jumped to the lead with 126 units of the total 180 units produced. Coal and oil were still the second sources to produce electricity important in this that county at 25 units each.

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[ 1]: Do not mix units and percentages. Here, we have units.

[ 2]: “this” refers to the country you are in.

[ 3]: Pay attention to the numbers. Mistakes like that cost you valuable marks.

[ 4]: “has” means until now.