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Can you please help me with my writing? Many thanks.

Writing task 1

The charts below give Information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy In 2000 and projections for 2050.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Answer

The four pie charts compare three age groups of the inhabitants in Yemen and Italy in 2000 and make a prediction for 2050.
It is clear that the percentage of people from 60 years onward will go up throughout the period in both countries.
In 2000 the majority of people living in Yemen were between 0 and 14 years old, accounting for half of the population. Whereas the highest figure in Italy was between the age of 15 and 59, with 61.6%. While in the same year, the lowest proportion belongs to the group of 60 years old or more with only 3.6% and
24.1% in Yemen and Italy respectively.
As for the prediction that was made for 2050, in Yemen, we can see that there will be an increase in the number of people with the age from 15 to 59 with 57.3% and 5.7% for 60 years or more. On the other hand, the inhabitants with 15-59 years will experience a decrease to 46.2% in Italy. However, the group of people whose age 60 years or more will rise to 42.3%.

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The four pie charts compare the proportions three age groups of the inhabitants in Yemen and Italy in 2000 by age group and make a prediction for 2050. There are three age groups: children (ages 1-14), adults (15-59) and seniors (over 60). (Your paragraph was incomplete. It did not describe the three groups. Also, I give these groups names so I can use the name, instead of awkward expressions in the body paragraphs))
It is clear that (Those words say nothing about the data. They are not necessary.) the percentage of people from 60 years onward will go up throughout the period A period is a start, and end, and all the time in between. This is not a period. It is two snapshots in time.) in both countries.


In paragraph #2, write two or three major observations. One is not enough.

Yemen has a much younger population than Italy, with over 50% of the population being children. The proportion of seniors in Italy was six times that of Yemen. The populations of both countries are forecast to get older, with Italy aging more than Yemen. In 2050 more than four in every ten Italians will be over the age of 60, compared to about 6 in 100 Yemenis.



In 2000 the majority (Majority is more than half. It is conflicting to write majority and half in the same sentence about the same data! The value 50.1% is a very slim majority...) of people living in Yemen were between 0 and 14 years old, accounting for slightly more than half of the population. Whereas the largest age group highest figure in Italy was between the age of 15 and 59, with 61.6%. While in the same year, the lowest proportion smallest group belongs to those the group of 60 years old or more with only 3.6% and 24.1% (Incorrect. The senior group is not the smallest in Italy. That was the children.) in Yemen and Italy respectively.


As for the prediction that was made for 2050, in Yemen, we can see that there will be an increase in the number percentage of people with the aged from 15 to 59 with 57.3% and 5.7% for 60 years or more. On the other hand, the inhabitants with percentage of Italian adults between 15 and 59 years will experience a decrease to 46.2% in Italy. However, the group of people whose age 60 years or more will rise to 42.3%.


Model essay (This is far too long, over 240 words, but will give you some ideas for future essays. The minimum word count is 150. Aim for 160-180 words.)

The four pie charts compare age distribution of the inhabitants of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and make a prediction for 2050. There are three age groups displayed: children (ages 1-14), adults (15-59) and seniors (over 60).

Overall, Yemen has a much younger population than Italy, with over 50% of the population being in the youngest age group in 2000. In contrast, the proportion of children in Italy was a little more than a quarter that of Yemen, and its senior group was six times that of Yemen. The populations of both countries are forecast to get older, with Italy aging more than Yemen. In 2050 more than forty-two in every hundred Italians will be over the age of 60, compared to less than six in a hundred for Yemen.

The current population distribution in Yemen shows a majority (50.1%) being children, with 96% under the age of 60. The majority of Italians are working-age adults, representing about six in ten people. Nearly a quarter of Italians are seniors.

The forecast distribution for 2050 shows that Yemen will still have nearly 95% of its population under the age of 60, but the proportion of children will have decreased by 13% and that of adults increased by about the same amount (11%. ) The difference is reflected in the addition of 2% to the senior group. In Italy, only about one in ten of its people will be children, with the remaining being nearly evenly divided between seniors and adults (42% and 46%, respectively).

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I am very glad to receive your reply. You advice is really helpful and useful to me. Thank you very much.