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The line graphs illustrate two sets of data about the monthly amount of money that British parents spent for their children’s sport since 2008 to 2014 and the number of kids who take part in football, athletics, and swimming. Overall, the first visual shows that there is a linear increase in children’s sports spending of parents. Different than the first one, the second line graph demonstrates three different trends of balancing, slight fluctuate, and gradual increase of football, athletics, and swimming respectively.

First of all, only in 6 years, the amount of money that parents willing to pay for their children’s sports has rocketed from 20 pounds in 2008 to over 30 pounds in 2014.

The number of children who participate in the 3 sport also shows an increase in number but with different rates and trends. From 2008 to 2014, Football, which has the highest number of participants is balanced in the range between over 7.5 million and under 10 million. Athletics started off small with a quarter of 2.5 million but rocketed in 2010 and reached its peak at a little bit over 5 million in 2012. Swimming shows a similar rate of development to that of the parent’s monthly spending on children’s sport. It was just under 2.5 million in 2008 but gradually increasing since then and will catch up with athletics at this rate.

Please show us what the graph looks like.

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Instructions:

**The first chart below gives information about the money spent by British parents on their children’s sports between 2008 and 2014. The second chart shows the number of children who participated in three sports in Britain over the same time period.**

Next time, please attach the image, and include the Task instructions.

I will give you some limited comments.

The line graphs illustrate two sets of data about the monthly amount of money that British parents spent for their children’s sport since 2008 to 2014 and the number of kids who take part in football, athletics, and swimming. Overall, the first visual shows that there is a linear increase in children’s sports spending of parents. *(very awkward)* ~~Different than the first one~~, **T**he second line graph demonstrates three different trends of balancing, slight fluctuate, and gradual increase *(Those are not good descriptions. Trends can be up, increasing, down, decreasing. ) *of football, athletics, and swimming respectively.

First of all, only in 6 years, the amount of money that parents willing to pay for their children’s sports has rocketed *(Do not use sensational words like this in Task 1. Use sober, dispassionate words appropriate for a mathematician. e.g. The amount of money spent on sports increased by 50% over the six years ...) *from 20 pounds in 2008 to over 30 pounds in 2014.

The number of children who participate in the 3 *(Do not use numerals. Write out small numbers.) *sport also shows an increase in number but with different rates and trends. From 2008 to 2014, Football, which has the highest number of participants is balanced *(stays) *in the range between over 7.5 million and __under 10 million__. *( 4 is under 10, so is 8. You must qualify these values better.) *Athletics started off small with a __quarter of 2.5 million__ *(How many is that?) *but rocketed in 2010 and reached its peak at a little bit over 5 million in 2012. Swimming shows a similar rate of development to that of the parent’s monthly spending on children’s sport. It was just under 2.5 million in 2008 but gradually increasing since then and will catch up with athletics at this rate. *(That is drawing a conclusion. Do not give interpretations, inferences, opinions, projections or conclusions in Task 1. Just describe the diagram.) *

Yes this is the one, I try to attach the picture but for some reasons, it just fails every time.

Thank you so much for the feedback, I'm trying very hard to get a 7.5 in Ielts, what skills do you think I should improve on to get better task 1 and 2 of ielts writing?

Thank you so much for the feedback. When you said that "rocketed" is not a good expression in task 1, does that means it is more suitable for task 2? What are the differences in ways of choosing words between task 1 and task 2 (more dispassionate, less formal, emotionally persuasive...)?

Task 1 is a quasi-academic report that requires factual, objective language. Your opinion is absolutely not required. In Task 2, your opinion, views, or proposals are often required, depending on the exact wording of the question.

In general, the main reasons for failing to achieve Band 7.0 and getting 6.5 instead are:

1. In Task 1 Academic, the overview isn't good enough.

2. The numbers are being just listed, not compared

3. A key number or detail is missing

4. There are too many common grammar errors, in either Task 1 or 2 or both

5. The essay question is not properly answered because there is a failure to do what the task asks (eg: give your own opinion, identify solutions etc)

6. Too much 'unnatural' English "

[*Note this is a general comment , and not specific to you, your English, or your report or essay*]

thai1491Thank you so much for the feedback, I'm trying very hard to get a 7.5 in Ielts, what skills do you think I should improve on to get better task 1 and 2 of ielts writing?

For Task 1, you need to focus on* vocabulary word*s that are used by engineers, scientists or mathematicians in academic articles. These words are very common in university courses in the sciences.

Fantastical words like "rocket," "zoom", and "huge" are never used in scientific articles. These words are used for story telling, reporting or argumentation.

Instead, use mathematical expressions, such as "decreased by 10%" ,"varied within a narrow range of ...", "a slight/marginal increase."

Compare values using mathematical expressions. Tell the ranking or ordering.

Estimate values by looking at the scale and curves:

The participation numbers in football varied / remained / stayed within the narrow range of about 8 and 9 million over the period.

Describe the curves in pieces or time ranges:

`Participation in athletics hovered around 1 million from 2008 to 2010, but then increased by a factor of 5 to a peak of 5 million between 2010 and 2012. It then declined slightly to an ending value of about 4.5 million. It surpassed the numbers for swimming participation around 2011 at a value of 2.5 million. `

Compare the __start__ to the __end__ of the period, adding up all the numbers for the three categories. You can compare ranking of the categories as well as the overall change.

As a bonus, calculate __percentage__ or __factors__ of increases or decreases when it is large. This is much more professional than "huge", "enormous".

For example:

In 2008, about 11 million children participated in these three sports. This increased to about 17 million in 2014, an increase of over 50%. Not only did participation increase, but the parents' spending increased by about the same amount, 50%, from 20 to 30 pounds per month.

In 2008, there were more than triple the number of children who played football than the number who were involved in the other two sports combined, 8 versus 2.5 million. But in 2014, that ratio had decreased to about 1, with equal numbers in football as in athletics and swimming combined.

Vocabulary:

I advise to avoid using the word "**figure**." In scientific articles a figure is mostly used to mean a graph, chart or illustration inserted into the text. It is not used very much for data values. In contrast, "figure" is commonly used for numbers or values when calculating __business __results, such as "Sales figures for this quarter were about the same as last year's".

If appropriate, use words that describe shapes of curves, such as linear, exponential, logarithmic, or cyclical.

I advise to avoid the word "**fluctuate**" because it describes a very particular type of graph. These graphs show two types of fluctuation, random and cyclical.