The chart below shows the percentage of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011.

The bar chart illustrates the changes in the rate of families having and renting accommodation in the UK and Wales from 1981 to 2011.Overall, England and Wales families were likely to living in rented accommodation from 1918 to 1961, whereas the majority of families in these areas preferred to live in owned accommodation from 1981 to 2011.


In 1918, the percentage of families living in rented accommodation was the highest with over 75%, compared to about 25% of households buying their own houses being the lowest. Twenty years later, while the percentage of lodgers in England and Wales showed a significant drop from over 75% to under 70%, but the rate of home buyers witnessed a moderate rise from over 20% to over 30%. Then the proportion of tenants and home buyers remained relatively stable at under 70% and over 30% respectively from 1939 to 1953.


From 1953 to 1991, there was a significant drop in the proportion of tenants from over 65% to approximately 30%, while the rate of families owning their houses grew moderately from over 30% to over 65%. Particularly, in 1971, both the former and the later have the same percentage with 50%. In the next twenty years, the former declined slightly, and then went up substantially by about 5% while there was a marginal increase in the former, followed by a moderate fall from approximately 70% to under 65%.

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The descriptions "over X" and "under X" are not good. For example, if I say "The number of people watching the football game is over 25," there could be 123,784 or 26. The upper bound is unlimited. If I say "The number of people watching the football game is under ten thousand," there could be 1 person or 9,999 people. What would a university professor think about that?


The bar chart illustrates the changes in the rate (wrong word) of families having and renting accommodation in the UK (wrong word) and Wales from 1981 to 2011.Overall, England and Wales (wrong forms) families were likely to (missing word) living in rented accommodation from 1918 to 1961, whereas the majority of families in these areas preferred to live in owned accommodation from 1981 to 2011.


In 1918, the percentage of families living in rented accommodation was the highest with over 75%, compared to about 25% of households buying (wrong word) their own houses being the lowest. Twenty years later, while the percentage of lodgers (wrong word) in England and Wales showed a significant drop from over 75% to under 70%, but the rate (wrong word) of home buyers (wrong word) had witnessed a moderate rise from over 20% to over 30%. Then the proportion of tenants (wrong word) and home buyers (wrong word) remained relatively stable at under 70% and over 30% respectively from 1939 to 1953.


From 1953 to 1991, there was a significant drop in the proportion of tenants (wrong word) from over 65% to approximately 30%, while the rate (wrong word) of families owning their houses grew moderately from over 30% to over 65%. Particularly, in 1971, both the former and the later have the same percentage with 50%. In the next twenty years, the former declined slightly, and then went up substantially by about 5% while there was a marginal increase in the former, followed by a moderate fall from approximately 70% to under 65%.

Dear Ms. AlpheccaStars,

Many thanks for your corrections. I understood about my wrong usages of these words such as "over" and "under". I will avoid using them in next essays.

Can I rewrite my sentences like this:

+ The bar chart illustrates some variation in the percentage of families having and renting accommodation in England and Wales from 1981 to 2011. Overall, British and Welsh families were likely to choosing to live in rented accommodation from 1918 to 1961, whereas the majority of families in these areas preferred to live in owned accommodation from 1981 to 2011.

+In 1918, the percentage of families living in rented accommodation was the highest with approximately 78%, compared to about 25% of households possessing their own houses being the lowest. Twenty years later, while the percentage of British and Welsh families renting houses showed a significant drop from about 78% to nearly 69%, but the proportion of home owners had a moderate rise from approximate 23% to about 30%. Then the proportion of those renting accommodation and having home ownership remained relatively stable at around 69% and nearly 32% respectively from 1939 to 1953.


I really appreciate all the hard work you’ve done to help me.

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+ The bar chart illustrates some variation in the percentage of families having and renting accommodation in England and Wales from 1981 to 2011. Overall, British (Incorrect. The chart shows English, not British. The United Kingdom (UK) consists of England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland. Great Britain consists of three administrative districts of the British Isles, namely England, Scotland and Wales. These people consider themselves uniquely different peoples because historically they were separate nations. ) and Welsh families were likely to choosing to live in rented accommodation from 1918 to 1961, whereas the majority of families in these areas preferred to live in owned accommodation from 1981 to 2011.

+In 1918, the percentage of families living in rented accommodation was the highest at approximately 78%, compared to about 25% (Note: the sum of the two values should be 100%. There are only two choices - you either rent your home, or you own it. So if the percentage of renters goes down, the percentage in the ownership category must go up by the same amount. Recognition of this pattern is an insight that will give you a higher score if you show that you recognize it. ) of households possessing their own houses being the lowest. Twenty years later, while the percentage of British and Welsh families renting houses showed a significant drop from about 78% to nearly 69%, but the proportion of home owners had a moderate rise from approximate 23% to about 30%. Then the proportion of those renting accommodation and having home ownership remained relatively stable at around 69% and nearly 32% respectively from 1939 to 1953.


When you look at a chart like this, think of the big patterns and the words that describe them. For example, I have added some trend lines to this chart. If you notice these patterns, would you write your essay differently?

Dear Ms AlpheccaStars,

Thanks very much for all your feedback. I understood what you taught me to write. Now I rewrite my essay like this:

The bar chart illustrates some variation in the percentage of families having and renting accommodation in England and Wales from 1981 to 2011. Overall, English and Welsh families were likely to choosing to live in rented accommodation from 1918 to 1961, whereas the majority of families in these areas preferred to live in owned accommodation from 1981 to 2011.


In 1918, the percentage of those living in rented houses was the highest at approximately 78%, compared to about 22% of home owners being the lowest. Then the proportion of those renting accommodation and having home ownership remained relatively stable at around 69% and nearly 32% respectively from 1939 to 1953. Particularly, in 1971, both the former and the later have the same percentage with 50%.


The percentage of families living in rented accommodation went down a downward trend from about 78% to 32% from 1918 to 1991, then hit the lowest point approximately 31% ten years later, and finally it increased moderately by 4% in 2011. However, there was a rising trend in the proportion of households possessing their own houses from 22% to 69% between 1918 and 1991, followed by reaching a peak at around 70% in the next ten years, and finally a significant drop by 5%.

Thanks Ms. in advance.

Y TThe bar chart illustrates some variation in the percentage of families having and renting accommodation in England and Wales from 1981 to 2011. Overall, British and Welsh families were likely to choose to live in rented accommodation from 1918 to 1961, whereas the majority of families in these areas preferred to live in owned accommodation from 1981 to 2011.
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Thank you for helping me improve.

The bar chart illustrates some variation in the percentage of families owning and renting accommodation in England and Wales from 1981 to 2011. Overall, English and Welsh families were likely to choose to live in rented accommodation from 1918 to 1961, whereas the majority of families in these areas preferred to live in owned accommodation from 1981 to 2011.

In 1918, the percentage of those living in rented houses was the highest at approximately 78%, compared to about 22% of home owners being the lowest. Then the proportion of those renting accommodation and having home ownership remained relatively stable at around 69% and nearly 32% respectively from 1939 to 1953. Particularly, in 1971, both the former and the later have the same percentage with 50%.


The percentage of families living in rented accommodation went down had a downward trend from about 78% to 32% from 1918 to 1991, then hit the lowest point approximately 31% ten years later, and finally it increased moderately by 4% in 2011. However, there was a rising trend in the proportion of households possessing their own houses from 22% to 69% between 1918 and 1991, followed by reaching a peak at around 70% in the next ten years, and finally a significant drop by 5%.


Model essay:

The bar chart illustrates the changes in the percentages of families living in England and Wales who owned their own homes over the 93-year period from the end of World War I (1918) to 2011. The bar chart also plots the percentage families who rented. Nine points in time are shown. The total of these two values adds up to 100% at each time point. Overall, home ownership increased substantially, the renters outnumbering the homeowners in the first four decades, and homeowners dominating in the last five decades.

At the beginning of the period, 1918, 78% lived in rented housing, and the remaining 22% owned their own homes. At that time, there began a general upward trend in home ownership, increasing to a peak of 70% in 1991. There was an intervening period (1939-1953) where the percentage hovered around 33%; that is, one third of the population owned their homes and two-thirds rented. In 1953, the increase in ownership resumed. The numbers of owners and renters were equal (50%) in 1971. The steepest rise in home ownership was between 1939 and 1971, increasing at a rate of about 1% per year, as more and more people in this population elected to be homeowners.

After another stable period, 1992-2001, the trends reversed and the percentage of home ownership declined from its peak of 70% to 65% at the end of the period, 2011. The rate of decline in the last decade was 0.5% per year.

In conclusion, the graph can be divided into five time periods: first,1918-1939, with increasing home ownership, second,1939-1953, a period of stability, third, 1953-1991, with a rapid growth in ownership, fourth,1991-2001, a period of stability and fifth, 2001-2011, with a decline in ownership.


Thank you for all your corrections. I've learn a lot learn from your feedback and model essay.

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