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Hi this is my writing assignment, i would be thankful if someone could help me check it !

The line graph below illustrates figure for the percentage of radio and television audiences through a day time in 1992.

It can be clearly seen from the graph, UK population watched television more than using the radio. People in the United Kingdom used radio more in the evening and used TV more in the afternoon.

At 6 in the morning, the figure for radio audiences was around 8%, slightly higher than television audiences (0%). The numbers for radio users peaked at over 28% from 8AM to 10AM, while the numbers for television watchers slowly increased to around 15%. From 6 to 8 in the after, the percentage for TV watchers reached to its highest point, about 46%, while the percentage for radio audiences decreased to under 10%. Both figures for radio and television users fell apart to just over 1% after midnight as the majority of the population went to sleep.

You misuse a lot of words.

The line graph below illustrates figure for the percentage of radio and television audiences through a day time in 1992. (Incorrect)

1. Below - Do not put "given", "provided" "above" or "below" adjectives for the figure or table. This is not appropriate.

2. "Illustrates" is a verb for pictures and diagrams, not for math plots.

3. Figure is not used to mean a data value on the plot. It is the entire diagram. Many learners use this word inappropriately. Avoid using it until you have thoroughly studied the limited contexts in which you can use it to mean a data point or value.

4. day time - incorrect. It is a 24-hour day.

5. in 1992 - imprecise - it is the average for the last quarter of 1992.

It can be clearly seen from the graph, (Those words give no information. They are "filler". Delete them.) UK population watched television more than using the radio. People in the United Kingdom used radio more in the evening and used TV more in the afternoon.

1. We do not use a radio or TV. We use a machine, a computer, a pencil or scissors. We use electricity. But we watch or view TV. We listen to radio.

At 6 in the morning, the figure for radio audiences was around 8%, slightly higher than television audiences (0%). The numbers for radio users peaked at over 28% from 8AM to 10AM, while the numbers for television watchers slowly increased to around 15%. From 6 to 8 in the after, the percentage for TV watchers reached to its highest point, about 46%, while the percentage for radio audiences decreased to under 10%. Both figures for radio and television users fell apart to just over 1% after midnight as the majority of the population went to sleep.

1. Numbers are not percentages. Numbers are values such as 12,847,663 or or 312 or 54. It is a minor flaw here, but it can be a much worse mistake on other graphs or charts.

2. The peak was very sharp at about 8:45 am. It was not a broad peak as shown in the evening TV viewers.

3 "after" is the wrong word.

4. "Reach to" is wrong. Just reach.

5. " fall apart" is completely the wrong verb.

6. "went to sleep" is a deduction or conclusion. Avoid making inferences in Task 1. Your job is just to describe the figure and its information. Do not write anything that you assume or guess as a reason.

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