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It is true that working longer hours are hapened . There are several reason for this alarming trend, but meansures could certaintly be taken to tackle the problem.
There are two main reason why people spends a lot of time on working. The main reason for this problem is there many companies, the typical nine-to-five workday has been evoling into longer and don’t have any time for staff blow off some steam. That is bring about many workers are find it difficult to achive a work-life balance while ever when working under a high pressure with a heavy workload and high pressure at work. Another important factor contributing to this issue is that society development. Hence, many people not only follow the work everyday but also face-to-face with cranky manager.
There are several action that many people could take to solve the problem described above. There many compaies should take care of their worker. Many companies should have been make cuts the time does not neccessary to stay away from punishingly. Moreover, the governmant need to assisting the citizen more better. For example, they have a trip in last year, this is helps comfortable vibe to it after getting mood zealous
In conclusion, while there are evident reason that bring about this phenomenon, i believe that great efforts from everyone are neccessary to reverse the trend.

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Please put the essay instructions with your answer in the message body.

Subject: Please review my IELTS essay

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Topic:

Copy the instructions and essay prompt here. It is difficult to give feedback if we do not know what the task is.

My essay:

(Your text here...)
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You have many spelling errors and singular / plural mistakes.

Also "i" is not a word to be used in a formal essay. If you write these tasks like text messages, you will lose a lot of points. Do not use casual or informal words.

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What is the exact prompt/question for the above essay?

 AlpheccaStars's reply was promoted to an answer.