In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

Here is my essay. I hope you can correct it for me soon. Thank you so much.

There is no doubt that in some nations, people tend to gain more and more weight, and they seem not to be as healthy as before. This essay will discuss some causes of these issues, and some measures to tackle them.

In modern society, there are some obvious causes of weight gain and poor levels of health. Firstly, it is the diversity of fast food. Despite of the fact that fast food is harmful to our health, several people still choose it as a staple every day. An excess of fast food or processed food will definitely pose a serious threat to people's digestion and metabolism, Which means poor health and fitness. This can be easily seen in some families in Viet Nam. Vietnamese parents tend to have lunch and dinner with their children at KFC or Lotteria restaurants. Fries and fried chicken in these restaurants are high in fat, leading to the increasing levels of obesity in children. In addition, the development of technology can also threaten our health and fitness. Nowadays, children and adults have a tendency to spend too much time with technological devices such as smartphones and computers. Therefore, they can gain weight with ease as a result of sitting all day in front of screens without taking part in outside activities.

I think to reduce poor health problems, outside activities, yoga and meditation courses need to be developed. Schools and companies can offer such activities and encourage students and employees to take part in, so that they are likely to burn calories, boosting immune systems and staying in shape. However, low levels of health and fitness will not be solved by solely this measure. To do this, we need a balanced diet. A diet with adequate vegetables and fruits always does good to people's digestion, which means that people can stay healthy.

In conclusion, excess fast food and lack of activities lead to health problems, and if people want to reduce these issues, they need get involved in activities and adopting a balanced diet.

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

Here is my essay. I hope you can correct it for me soon. Thank you so much.

There is no doubt that In some nations, people tend to gain more and more weight, and they seem not to be as healthy as before. This essay will discuss some causes of these issues, and some measures to tackle them. (That is not a thesis statement. Write a thesis statement that will indicate for the reader the main points in your essay.) Suggestion: The primary culprits, poor lifestyle choices, can easily be combated.

In modern society, there are some obvious causes of weight gain and poor levels of health. First, it is the diversity (prevalence) of fast food. Despite of the fact that fast food is harmful to our health, several (Several is not very many.) people still choose it as a staple every day. An excess of fast food or processed food will definitely pose a serious threat to the people's digestion and metabolism, Which means poor health and fitness. This can be easily seen in some families in Viet Nam. Vietnamese parents tend to have lunch and dinner with their children at KFC or Lotteria restaurants. Fries and fried chicken in these restaurants are high in fat, leading to the increasing levels of obesity in children. In addition, the development of technology can also threaten our health and fitness. Nowadays, children and adults have a tendency (propensity) to spend too much time with technological electronic devices such as smartphones and computers. Therefore, they can easily gain weight with ease as a result of sitting all day in front of screens without taking part in outside activities.

I think to reduce poor health problems, outside activities, yoga and meditation courses need to be developed. Schools and companies can offer such activities and encourage students and employees to take part in them, so that they are likely to burn calories, which boosts their immune systems and helps them stay in shape. However, low levels of health and fitness will not be solved by solely this measure. To do this, we need a balanced diet. A diet with adequate vegetables and fruits always does good to is good for people's digestion, which means that people can stay healthy.

In conclusion, excessive fast food and lack of activities lead to health problems, and if people want to help themselves reduce these issues, they need get involved in activities and adopting a balanced diet.

(Suggestion: Fast food restaurants should be required to offer and promote healthy choices on their menus. School lunches should include servings of vegetables and fruits.)

Thanks a lot, teacher. I'm glad that I made fewer mistakes in this essay than in the previous ones.