In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing.

What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

Write at least 250 words.


In several nations, there is an increasing trend for the average figure for the weight of people while the level of health and fitness is becoming lower. There are various reasons for this and some of them will be listed in this essay including the solution.


There is a number of reasons for the average weight of humans to rise up. Firstly, nowadays, people are becoming lazier and lazier due to the development of technology. The convenience that technology bring to humanity has made people become to dependent on them. For instance, thanks to the Internet, people can shop online without going to the shopping mall. Secondly, fast food has become the most preferable choice of food for most individuals. Food like these such as chips, hamburgers, pizza, fried chicken, etc. which are sold in many restaurants and stores, contain a high level of fat. It is undeniable that fat is necessary for our health, but with a large amount of it, the resulting consequence is over-weighting. Last but not least, combine with the laziness and a large amount of fat being consumed, the lack of exercise can make people’s weight increase faster than how they should be and make their level of health decrease.


There are several methods, which can help to solve this problem. Being more selective in planning their diet is one of them. Avoiding eating fast food and food contains too much cholesterol, which is dangerous for their health. Consume more vegetables, fruit, wheat and oat. These food can have a highly positive effect on people’s health. Doing more exercise and doing more activity to help burn up the unneeded amount of calories and fats. One efficient way is that they can change the way they transport from home to their workplace or school. Instead of driving or using public transportation, they can use bicycles, walk or run. Raising people’s awareness about the negative effect of being too lazy and over-weighting is also essential.


To conclude, it is true that people are having more problems with their body weight and health. Most of the reasons are coming from their unhealthy lifestyle. As long as individuals can change the habit, live and eat in a healthier way, their health and weight can be improved.

You wrote nearly 380 words. The minimum is 250.

A long essay has many disadvantages and generally, they get poor marks. First, you are likely repetitive, losing points. Second, you have more chances to make grammatical and spelling errors, losing points. Third, your writing will be verbose, losing points. Fourth, you will spend more time writing rather than checking your work. Your quality will degrade, losing points. Fifth, you will not have enough time left over to devote to Task 1 and lose points on Task 1. If you have already completed task 1, you will run out of time and leave an incomplete essay with a wimpy conclusion.

The moral of this is to aim for 260-280 words. Make every sentence, every word and every phrase count. Long sentences are not necessarily the best sentences. Complicated and sophisticated words seldom do the job of making your writing clear and understandable.



In several nations, there is an increasing trend for the average figure for the (wrong vocabulary usage and verbose.) weight of people while their level of health and fitness is becoming lower. (That is not a parallel structure, The sentence is awkward.) There are various reasons for this and some of them will be listed in this essay including the solution.


Write a thesis statement. Do not mention your essay or what you are going to write. The reader wants to know your main point before you start presenting your arguments.

Here are example thesis statements for this essay:

1. It is well documented that the overall health of populations, particularly in rich countries, is deteriorating, and the root cause is their sedentary lifestyle. However, there are remedies that can easily reverse these trends.

2. In developed countries, fewer people are doing manual labor, taking office jobs instead. The spend time commuting, sitting in traffic, and when they get home, they sit in front of a TV or computer. This sedentary lifestyle has consequences, namely obesity and becoming less physically fit. There are some solutions to reverse this unhealthy trend.


There is (wrong form) a number of reasons for the average weight of humans (wrong word) to rise up. (wrong verb. Rise up means to revolt. ) Firstly, First, nowadays, people are becoming lazier and lazier due to the development of technology. (Wrong phrase. Development of technology is researching in physics and electronics, building prototypes and testing them, designing equipment and planning the manufacturing. It has nothing to do with laziness.) The convenience that technology bring (wrong form) to humanity has made people become to dependent on them. (Wrong pronoun) For instance, thanks to the Internet, people can shop online without going to the shopping mall. Secondly, Second, fast food has become the most common preferable choice of food for most individuals. Food like these such as (redundant, repetitive) chips, hamburgers, pizza, fried chicken, etc. (Do not use ellipses, "etc." or phrases such as "and so on" in formal essays.) which are sold in many restaurants and stores, contain a high level of fat. It is undeniable that (verbose) fat is necessary for our health, but with a large amount of it, the resulting consequence (redundant) is over-weighting. (wrong usage.) Last but not least, combine (wrong form) with the laziness and a large amount of fat being consumed, the lack of exercise can make people’s weight increase faster than how they should be and make their level of health decrease.

(Your use of pronouns is very inconsistent. Keep to either second or third person.)

There are several methods, (no comma) which can help to solve this problem. Being more selective in planning one's their (wrong pronoun usage.) diet is one of them. Avoiding eating fast food and food contains too much cholesterol, (wrong clause structure .) which is dangerous for their health. Consume more vegetables, fruit, wheat and oat. (wrong form.) These food (wrong form.) can have a highly positive effect on people’s health. Doing more exercise and doing more activity to help burn up the unneeded amount of calories and fats. One efficient way is that they can to change the means of commuting. way they transport from home to their workplace or school. Instead of driving or using public transportation, they can use bicycles, walk or run. Raising people’s awareness about the negative effect of being too lazy and over-weighting is also essential.


To conclude, it is true that (Filler words. Delete them) people are having more problems with their body weight and health. Most of the reasons are coming this is due to from their unhealthy lifestyle. As long as individuals can change the habit, live and eat in a healthier way, (ungrammatical.) their health and weight can be improved.