Topic:

In some countries, the average worker is obliged to retire at the age of 50, while in others people can work until they are 65 or 70. It has been claimed that workers over 50 are not responsive to rapidly changing ideas in the modern workplace, and that for this reason younger workers are to be preferred. To what extent do you agree?

My essay:


It is often argued that it is more merits to employ the younger worker than these who were at the age of 50. I completely agree with this opinion. However, youthful employees will boost the success of the company.


On the one hand, although the older have a range of experiences, they are less active with the updated today. Firstly, the more age they had got, the more absent-minded they were. In other words, people who are in the age of over 50 will be less productive. For example, in the same issue, almost the elderly choose a long, endured which they summarized for the time before, instead of breakthrough and risky. Secondly, their health signs to decline. It seems that sitting lengthily is something overwhelmed for the elderly.

On the other hand, young staffs have strong effects on others. It cannot be denied that the speed and knowledge about new techniques of the younger generation. People find their interest in a new thing. As they have various urges such as open business, money, etc. Additionally, youngers have an intense to broaden their horizon, which is the key to more chances in the future. Furthermore, youthful laborers are very energetic, enthusiastic and so can react spontaneously to any situation put across them at work. Case in point, comparing to get a stable job, the young will desire the thing they really like. Mark Zuckerberg, who dropped out of Harvard University to perform his passion for computer and connecting community. And now, he has become one of the billionaires famous with Facebook that was the website with a thousand of users.


In conclusion, it appears to me that the positive impacts if the company hires the younger generation rather than the age of the people between 50 and 70.

You did not read the topic carefully, so you did not understand the question. It is not about hiring employees. It is about requiring people who reach the age of 50 to retire for the reason that they cannot adapt as well to new methods of working.

Your score for task completion will not be good because you did not address the topic, and a lot of your text was off-topic.

Also, many of your words were not used correctly. The collocations were also not natural English.
You need to study vocabulary words and practice writing sentences.



It is often argued that it is more merits (incorrect vocabulary usage) to employ the younger worker than these (wrong pronoun) who were at the age of 50. (incorrect phrase. It is not about people exactly 50 years old.) I completely agree with this opinion. (That is not what this essay is asking you to agree with. You did not answer the question.) However, youthful employees will boost the success of the company.


On the one hand, although the older have a range of experiences, they are less active with the updated (incorrect vocabulary usage) today. Firstly, First, the more age (incorrect vocabulary usage) they had got, (incorrect vocabulary usage) the more absent-minded they were. (wrong verb tense) In other words, people who are in the age of over 50 will be less productive. For example, in the same issue, almost the elderly (incorrect usage) choose a long, endured (incorrect vocabulary usage) which they summarized (incorrect vocabulary usage) for the time before, instead of breakthrough and risky. (incorrect vocabulary usage. I cannot understand the sentence. The wrods do not make sense. ) Secondly, Second, their health signs (incorrect vocabulary usage) to decline. It seems that sitting lengthily (incorrect vocabulary usage) is something overwhelmed (incorrect vocabulary usage) for the elderly.

On the other hand, young staffs (staff is non-count) staff members have strong effects on others. It cannot be denied that the speed and knowledge about new techniques (poor English) of the younger generation. People find their interest in a new thing. As they have various urges such as open business, money, etc. Additionally, youngers (That is not an English word) have an intense to broaden their horizon, which is the key to more chances in the future. Furthermore, youthful laborers are very energetic and enthusiastic and so can react spontaneously to any situation put to across them at work. Case in point, comparing to get a stable job, (That is off-topic) the young will desire the thing they really like. Mark Zuckerberg, who dropped out of Harvard University to perform his passion (Incorrect phrase) for computer and connecting community. (This is off-topic. It is not a good example for this topic. It is not about entrepreneurs. ) And now, he has become one of the billionaires famous with (wrong usage) Facebook that was the website with a thousand (incorrect) of users. (The sentence is incorrect. He founded Facebook and is the president of that company. Facebook has more than one billion, not one thousand, users.)


In conclusion, it appears to me that the positive impacts (wrong usage. ) if the company hires (The topic is not about hiring people.) people from the younger generation rather than the age of the people between 50 and 70.