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This is a story in my native language and I translated it into English for my children.

But I don't know where I made mistakes or whether it sounds natural or not.

So please read it and correct. Thank you so much in advance.

Here is the story.

The story of New Bud

  1. Plants sound awake after a long sleep when spring comes. A new bud still asleep suddenly wakes up because of a loud sound.
  2. It turns out a bird is practicing flying.

- I am asleep, just go away. – New Bud shouts angrily.

  1. Oh oh … I am so sorry! The young bird is trying to stay balanced as well as saying sorry to New Bud.

The Mommy Plant sees and says:

- Oh boy, just be comfortable to pass through my branches.

Then the Mommy Plant turns to New Bud: The sun goes up already, just get up, Darling.

  1. Forget it, New Bud still snuggles into its warm blanket and sleeps.
  2. One day, New Bud is waken up by a melodious whistle.
  • Wow, The Flower Butterfly is so lovely.
  • Hey, New Bud, come here, I have a lot of games for you to play.

Attracted by the invitation of the Flower Butterfly, New Bud gets out of its warm blanket.

  1. Every day, New Bud gets engrossed in play with the Flower Butterfly.
  2. The Mommy Plant gets upset and reminds it many times.

You must work hard; otherwise you will not become a healthy leave.

  1. Now New Bud has become a tender leave yet it still forgets its mother’s words. New Bud keeps engrossed in play with the Flower Butterfly.
  2. Some days, The Flower Butterfly misses its way home and stays at New Bud’s home over night. It curls up in New Bud’s warm blanket and sleeps.
  3. For several days, New Bud has not seen the Flower Butterfly comes out. There’s no one to play with, very lonely, New Bud gets in and wakes up the Flower Butterfly.
  4. Oh, oh, … where is the Flower Butterfly? An awful face peeks out.
  5. It crawls out of the cocoon and starts looking around. It attacks the first leaves. New Bud is scared and shaky.
  6. When it gets full, it gets into the blanket and sleeps. New Bud’s family is so worried.

One day, it just stays in its nest and nibbles New Bud with its sharp teeth.

  1. New Bud hurts and calls its mother.
  2. From a distance, a bird comes closer.
  • Hey, Destroyer!

In a flash, the flowerpecker eats the awful insect with its sharp beaks.

  1. Then, New Bud dares to open its eyes. Oh, it turns out the bird practiced flying that day.
  • Thank you. New Bud gets embarrassed.
  • Work hard, and we will get healthy. Then the bird flies up into the blue sky.
+1

It is too much for me to correct the text itself, but, just on one point, this has a very strange layout, incorporating random-seeming numbering and bullet points. We do not normally use this kind of style for a story. It looks like the layout of an instruction manual or something.

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GPY

It is too much for me to correct the text itself, but, just on one point, this has a very strange layout, incorporating random-seeming numbering and bullet points. We do not normally use this kind of style for a story. It looks like the layout of an instruction manual or something.

I've just changed its layout so that it looks like a story now. Thank you so much for your comments.

The story of New Bud

Plants sound awake after a long sleep when spring comes. A new bud still asleep suddenly wakes up because of a loud sound. It turns out a bird is practicing flying.

- I am asleep, just go away. – New Bud shouts angrily.

- Oh oh … I am so sorry! -The young bird is trying to stay balanced as well as saying sorry to New Bud.

The Mommy Plant sees and says:

- Oh boy, just be comfortable to pass through my branches.

Then the Mommy Plant turns to New Bud: The sun goes up already, just get up, Darling.

Forget it, New Bud still snuggles into its warm blanket and sleeps. One day, New Bud is waken up by a melodious whistle.

- Wow, The Flower Butterfly is so lovely.

- Hey, New Bud, come here, I have a lot of games for you to play.

Attracted by the invitation of the Flower Butterfly, New Bud gets out of its warm blanket.

Every day, New Bud gets engrossed in play with the Flower Butterfly. The Mommy Plant gets upset and reminds it many times.

- You must work hard; otherwise you will not become a healthy leave.

Now New Bud has become a tender leave yet it still forgets its mother’s words. New Bud keeps engrossed in play with the Flower Butterfly. Some days, The Flower Butterfly misses its way home and stays at New Bud’s home over night. It curls up in New Bud’s warm blanket and sleeps. For several days, New Bud has not seen the Flower Butterfly comes out. There’s no one to play with, very lonely, New Bud gets in and wakes up the Flower Butterfly.

-Oh, oh, … where is the Flower Butterfly? -An awful face peeks out.

It crawls out of the cocoon and starts looking around. It attacks the first leaves. New Bud is scared and shaky. When it gets full, it gets into the blanket and sleeps. New Bud’s family is so worried.One day, it just stays in its nest and nibbles New Bud with its sharp teeth. New Bud hurts and calls its mother. From a distance, a bird comes closer.

-Hey, Destroyer!

In a flash, the flowerpecker eats the awful insect with its sharp beaks. Then, New Bud dares to open its eyes. Oh, it turns out the bird practiced flying that day.

- Thank you. -New Bud gets embarrassed.

- Work hard, and we will get healthy.

Then the bird flies up into the blue sky.

Direct speech is by convention shown in inverted commas.

eg He said "I love you".

Thank you so much, Clive.

I'll correct it.

Have a good day!

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