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Answer:

Dear Teacher,

I am a high school student, and I am writing to enquire about information your classes.

I was passing through your classes while you were teaching the students, And I was surprising because of your pupils spoke English fluently. Besides, I just realize that your place is near to my home. Therefore, it would be convenient for me if I could take up your classes.

I will take an IELTS exam in the last year. Thus, I want to take a English course to improve my English abilities, especially academic English.

Firstly, I wonder if you could possibly send me a small overview of the entry requirement. I would also like to know the schedule of the classes.

Secondly, I would be interested to know your certificates to show your teaching ability.

Lastly, how much tuition fee in a course is? And how long do I have to take the class to get 7.0 IELTS overall?

I would appreciate it if you could send the details to my email.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours Faithfully,

Dat Le Sy

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Please post essays, paragraphs, dialogues and other writing in the essay forum so a moderator does not have to move your post.
https://www.englishforums.com/English/EssayReportCompositionWriting/Forum9.htm



Please do not put the writing instructions in the "Subject" line.
Put it with your answer in the message body.

Subject: Please review my IELTS essay

Message body:
Topic: You want to learn a language. There is a teacher near to where you live. Write a letter to the teacher. In the letter: say how you came to know about him/her explain why you want to learn ask what help they can offer.

My essay:

(Your text here...)
---------------------

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Dear Teacher, (You need to use a name for the teacher.)

I am a high school student, and I am writing to enquire about information your classes.

I was passing through (That is not a good description. Did you interrupt the class?) your classes while you were teaching the students, And I was surprising (wrong form) surprised because of (wrong usage) your pupils (see image below.) spoke English fluently. Besides, I just realize that your place school is near to my home. Therefore, it would be convenient for me if I could take up your classes.

I will take an IELTS exam in the last year. (Not good - Do you mean next year?) Thus, I want to take an English course to improve my English abilities, especially academic English.

Firstly, First, I wonder if you could possibly send me a short small overview of the admissions requirements. entry requirement. I would also like to know the schedule of the classes.

Secondly, Second, I would be interested to know your what teaching certificates you have. to show your teaching ability.

Lastly, Finally, how much will it cost to take each class? tuition fee in a course is? And how long will it take for me to achieve an overall score of do I have to take the class to get 7.0 in the IELST exam. IELTS overall?

I would appreciate it if you could send the details to my email address.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours Faithfully,

Dat Le Sy


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Comments  
AlpheccaStarsBesides, I just realize

realized

AlpheccaStarsis near to my home.

The red part is not a necessity. Removing it won't change the meaning.

AlpheccaStarsTherefore, it would be convenient for me if I could take up your classes.

Take or join would work. There is a choice here.

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