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Dear Sir or Madam
Hope this emails finds you well.

My name is Brian from “Out of the world” company. As you recall, I have organized a full day convention at your hotel 2 weeks ago for my firm and after that, I have received mixed feedbacks about the event which I think might be helpful to your operation.

My colleague and management board fell in love with your spacious ball room which was elegantly decorated. Moreover, your supporting staff were extremely friendly and helpful that day. Every demand we had were well taken care of and there were always smile on their face. We were truly impressed in your professionalism.

However, since the bar had been raised up so high, we were a bit disappointed when we were served with undercooked steak as well as non-fresh seafood. Someone actually experience uncomfortable feeling at the end of a day.
As a world class hotel, I hope you can be more considerate in training your cook staff and selecting appropriate ingredient suppliers. While your quality assurance procedure is improved, it might even help to perfect your service in this competitive food and beverage industry.
Kind regards
Brian

Comments  

hi,

nice! some suggestions below.

regards,

desk file 735Dear Sir or Madam,
Hope this emails finds you well.
My name is Brian ___[last name]_____ from “Out of the world” company. Out of the World. As you may recall, I have organized a full day convention at your hotel 2 weeks ago for my firm. and after that, After the convention, I have received mixed feedbacks about the event, which I think might be helpful for you to know about to your operation. My colleagues and management board fell in love with your spacious ball room, which was elegantly decorated. Moreover, your supporting staff were extremely friendly and helpful that day. Every demand (request) we had were was well taken care of and there were always smiles on their faces. We were truly impressed in with your (the/their?) professionalism.
However, since the bar had been raised up so high, we were a bit disappointed when we were served with undercooked steak as well as non-fresh ("not-so-fresh"?) seafood that was not so fresh. Someone actually had an unpleasant experience uncomfortable feeling at the end of a day. As a world class hotel, I hope you can be more considerate in training your cook staff and selecting appropriate ingredient suppliers. While your quality assurance procedure is improved, it might even help to perfect your service in this competitive food and beverage industry.
If your quality assurance procedures were better, it would improve your service and help you in this very competitive food and beverage industry. ??
Kind regards,
Brian __[last name]__

Thank you for your review. Since this is my Ielts Task 1 practice essay, Is it ok if you grade me?

Teachers: We supply a list of EFL job vacancies

Hi

I am not a grader, but if you look at the grading criteria, this would be about a 5.

They look at 4 things, each 25% each.

You need more detailed comments?

1. In the last sentence you attempted a complex sentence starting with "While..." but struggled.

If you can successfully rephrase that sentence, it will be a good sign that you are progressing. (band 6 skill.)

2 Mastering Subject-Verb agreement is important - grammar

3 Many words choices were somewhat awkward. -Vocabulary.

*Reading more formal types of texts will help also. Read model answers at that IELTS Liz website or.anywhere. The best writers are readers.

And keep a journal maybe ? Write about the things you read. We can check them here.

Thank you for your comment, nel. I will practice and post more essay here for review. Hope I can get better.

I like the information at ieltsliz.com.

Also see this

http://www.goodluckielts.com/free-sample-IELTS-letter.html

Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?