I have written this story and I need your comments and ideas about it please..
Put in mind that I am not a native speaker of English and mind my English...

You Wouldn't Cry if I Died

The dark gloomy clouds were blocking the sky, when I left home following steps of the past. I walked lonely in the darkest vacant passages. It was one of the coldest nights in the year. Nobody can be seen and no voice can be heard, but echoes of the past that were roaming on my head. It was three after midnight when I arrived at almost an abandoned house. A house that once was full of joy and laughter was closed and dark. My friend's home…
I stood near the front door,
"You are no more here Midnight Hawk" I whispered
My friend liked to be called like that. He would have smiled hearing me calling him like that.
Although it began raining, there were lights glittering in the sky; lights of memories which guided me somewhere, faraway. I walked but when the lights faded I stopped. I looked around myself and found that I was in the middle of a graveyard, near a small grave, a grave I knew very well.
I knelt down wet, dirty, and exhausted and my hands touching the grave. Suddenly I felt something so warm coming to me from inside the grave. Then a star fell down and I was taken somewhere in the nearest past. Exactly three years ago…
"Guilbert don't worry it's a normal process. They'll change my blood and give me a new one. This happens to all people who have anemia, besides it is not the first time I do it" My friend said
"Yeah but I'm afraid, it is so scary" I said
"Huh, don't worry friend I'll be fine soon, it won't take them too much to do it"
"But…I am so worried"
"Come on I'm the one having the operation not you" calming me down
"Yeah but you are my friend you know"
"I know but I'm only one friend. There are many other friends who are better than me"
"No you are the best, the only best friend"
"Guilbert stop this you're strong, I don't understand why you are so worried!"
"I don't know?" I whispered
"You wouldn't cry if I died, will you?" he smiled at me
"No don't say that. You will live inshallah" I stared at his face
"What if I vanished disappeared, faded like a dream? You wouldn't cry, would you?" he said, staring back at me
"Enough, for God's sake stop this. Don't speak as if you are going to die. You are still young and remember our promise, 'Together Forever'"
"Yeah that's the spirit. See you after the operation then" tapping my shoulder and entering the hospital with his big brother. He left me alone, worried and unsatisfied.
My friend was so unlucky that day. The operation did not go well for the doctors made a horrible mistake. They gave my friend a wrong type of blood which did not match his blood. It was so hard to believe that such a mistake could occur, but surely fate was not a mistake. The result was so painful to him. He died immediately after the operation. Death absorbed his soul. It was so hard to me to accept his death.
We buried him that night. His body was not like a normal one when we buried him. It was like a body left in the surface for days.
The sky cried that night, wetting us, but washing our tears.
I took my hands off the grave, looked sadly to my friend's grave and recalled his words:

"You wouldn't cry if I died, would you?... You wouldn't cry if I died, would you?... "
I tried to stop my tears but go back home but the sweet of my heart burst like an extreme explosion…
"What makes you so sure friend? What makes you so sure...?" I screamed, weeping enormously in that dreadful graveyard

---------------------------------------------The End------------------------------------------------

I hope you liked it
Waiting for your replies friends...
The plot is good,and fluent.Also it's well-constructed.I like it.

Safe
thank u friend
Students: We have free audio pronunciation exercises.
you're welcome.you should go on with that,complete itEmotion: wink

Safe
Well..

The end is open friend..

I have other stories I shall post them then..
Thank you for your encouragement