In this modern era, the majority of people move to urban areas because of the lack of facilities, employment, and education. While some people argue that the disadvantages of this statement outweigh the merits, I believe that this development is beneficial in many ways.


Firstly, it goes without saying that there are a lot of reasons why young people migrate to cities for work or study. First of all, cities with prominent colleges and advanced educational environments are the best option for well-rounded knowledge and soft skills, which will

enable youngsters to compete for vacancies in big companies. On the one hand, after finishing tertiary school in homeland, young people will pursue the next level of education in the city for a brighter career. Hence, cities offer better job opportunities for youngsters to enhance their abilities, acquire a competitive spirit, and higher income because big enterprises are always located in mega cities. Moreover, many people want to become more mature by living far from their parents.

On the other hand, it is no exaggeration to say that besides benefits about career, income, young people’s immigration to urban areas pose certain disadvantages. In densely populated cities, living expenses and accommodation leasing cost high, making pressure for young people from the countryside and they need to work more to settle down their life. Furthermore, the big gap between urban and rural life puts pressure on young people to be odd. Many giddy people do anything to be like their contemporaries in cities, which leads to overindulgence by temptation or social sins such as drug trafficking, harlotry, and adultery... Another reason is rural areas lack the labor force to develop their economy further behind cities.


In conclusion, although many people are keen to leave rural areas, and move to the industrial cities, these trends can be exhausting. However, personally, I believe that towns offer many more opportunities than villages. In this regard, it is a reasonable way to move to the cities.

In this modern era, the majority of people move to urban areas because of the lack of facilities, employment, and education. While some people argue that the disadvantages of this statement outweigh the merits, I believe that this development is beneficial in many ways.


Firstly, it goes without saying that there are a lot of reasons why young people migrate to cities for work or study. First of all, cities with prominent colleges and advanced educational environments are the best option for well-rounded knowledge and soft skills, which will

enable youngsters to compete for vacancies in big companies. On the one hand, after finishing tertiary school in homeland, young people will pursue the next level of education in the city for a brighter career. Hence, cities offer better job opportunities for youngsters to enhance their abilities, acquire a competitive spirit, and higher income because big enterprises are always located in mega cities. Moreover, many people want to become more mature by living far from their parents.

On the other hand, it is no exaggeration to say that besides benefits about career, income, young people’s immigration to urban areas pose certain disadvantages. In densely populated cities, living expenses and accommodation leasing cost high, making pressure for young people from the countryside and they need to work more to settle down their life. Furthermore, the big gap between urban and rural life puts pressure on young people to be odd. Many giddy people do anything to be like their contemporaries in cities, which leads to overindulgence by temptation or social sins such as drug trafficking, harlotry, and adultery... Another reason is rural areas lack the labor force to develop their economy further behind cities.


In conclusion, although many people are keen to leave rural areas, and move to the industrial cities, these trends can be exhausting. However, personally, I believe that towns offer many more opportunities than villages. In this regard, it is a reasonable way to move to the cities.

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Subject: Please review my IELTS essay

Message body:
Topic: Young people are leaving their homes from rural areas to study and work in the cities. What are the reasons? Do the advantages outweigh its disadvantages?


My essay:

(Your text here...)
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You wrote over 320 words. The minimum is 250. You will not lose points for writing more; however, longer essays generally do not get high scores. There are many reasons.

First, the longer the essay, the more chances you have to make errors, and you will lose points for each of those errors.

Second, your writing may be repetitious and wordy. This will cost you points in task completion or coherence and cohesion.

Third, you will likely stray off-topic, and examiners will deduct points if you are not focused on the topic. You will also be tempted to use weak or unsound arguments or even contradict yourself. Develop just two or three argument points with examples. It is much better to have two well-developed and fleshed-out argument points than to have four which are just individual separate statements.

Fourth, you will take a lot of time writing, and not have time left over to proofread your essay. You will miss the silly mistakes, and that lowers your score.


Fifth, you will not have enough time to spend on Task 1, and get a lower score there.

Aim to write around 270 words for Task 2. Practice writing a lot of essays so you get a feeling for the length.


In this modern era, (That is not a good phrase.) The majority of people move to urban areas because of the lack of facilities, employment, and education. While some people argue that the disadvantages of this statement (Statements are just words. they do not have disadvantages.) outweigh the merits, I believe that this development is beneficial in many ways.


Firstly, It goes without saying that there are a lot of reasons why young people migrate to cities for work or study. First of all, cities with prominent colleges and advanced educational environments are the best option for (missing verb) gaining well-rounded knowledge and soft skills, which will enable youngsters (a youngster is a child younger than a teenager. It is not appropriate for this essay.) to compete for vacancies in big companies. On the one hand, (incorrect usage of transition phrase) after finishing tertiary school in homeland, (wrong expression) young people will pursue the next level of education in the city for a brighter career. Hence, cities offer better job opportunities for youngsters to enhance their abilities, acquire a competitive spirit, and higher income because big enterprises are always located in mega cities. Moreover, many people want to become more mature by living far from their parents.

On the other hand, it is no exaggeration to say that besides benefits about (wrong word) career, income, young people’s immigration (wrong word) to urban areas pose certain disadvantages. In densely populated cities, living expenses and accommodation leasing cost high,(ungrammatical ) making pressure for young people from the countryside and they need to work more to settle down their life. (wrong expression) Furthermore, the big gap (What is the "gap"?) between urban and rural life puts pressure on young people to be odd. Many giddy (wrong word) people do anything to be like their contemporaries in cities, which leads to overindulgence by temptation or social sins (wrong word)such as drug trafficking, harlotry, (wrong word) and adultery... Another reason is rural areas lack the labor force to develop their economy further behind cities. (That idea has no transition - iis not connected to the previous sentences.)


In conclusion, although many people are keen to leave rural areas, and move to the industrial cities, these trends can be exhausting. (wrong word) However, personally, I believe that towns offer many more opportunities than villages. In this regard, it is a reasonable way to move to the cities. (The task did not ask for your personal opinion. This is off-topic.)